“I’m just wondering, have you thought about your tears as tiny messengers giving you hints to the way God made you to bear His image?”
~ Shelly Miller @ Redemption’s Beauty, in her post of February 18, 2013, Listen to Your Tears
I’ve been simmering this post-yet-to-be in thought and heart over a week now. Wanting to somehow bring you into the feeling behind the words, unsure how to do that. Later, reading Shelly’s words and her question posed above, I heard the strings of a sacred echo, like music lightplay on my thoughts. Tears, as tiny messengers…
I’m thinking of those that come in moments of profound awe. Inexplicably washing you aware. Best described by two words that don’t seem to go together… warm and shiver…making you know more by heart than thought, He is present.
In poignant beauty. A word of testimony. A flash of insight or confirming word.
Seemingly out of the blue, but born of His Spirit ever moving and breathing over us. Take a look at this. Do you hear that? Oh… that you would!
On or around Ash Wednesday last week, I felt as though His arms encircled me in two such simple…yet… Lenten moments…
The first…
An ordinary evening, I’d been re-watching a romantic comedy I came across a year or so ago, Beau Jest. The title spelling here is a play on words, because the theme revolves around a young Jewish woman who hires a man to play her Jewish boyfriend to her parents – thinking they would not approve anyone outside their faith.
Throw in Sabbath dinner, an actor who is not Jewish after all, wonderfully fun ethnic family humor, similar to “My Big Fat Greek Wedding –”
Then…Like a tender Hebraic strain entwined with a La Chaim Fiddler toast, thread a few exquisite moments quite suddenly…yet naturally and evocatively…to circle the Sabbath and Seder prayers around the table – around the viewer’s heart — turning laughter poignant.
And out of that comes…that feeling.
In the way a camera brushstrokes out distractions to reveal the view as if from behind one person’s eyes, you can still hear and see all that is going on — but somewhere in the background a chord signals, whispers above cacophony, Listen.
Tears welled, throat lump rose, as I watched the character of the actor beau moved by the words he was assigned to read over their dinner prayers… Just as they did the first time I saw that scene, and again a few minutes ago as I rewound tape to refresh my words here. For just as the director means the audience to see how these timeless truths are soaking in, subtly changing this character… I can sense the Father speaking them to us all…
“In every generation, let each man look on himself as if he came forth out of Egypt,” the beau is reading from the book of remembrance prayer… “It is because of that which the Lord did for me when I came forth out of Egypt… Therefore, we are bound to thank, praise…laud, glorify…exalt, honor…bless, extol and adore Him who performed all these miracles for our fathers, and for us. He has brought us from slavery to freedom, from sorrow to joy, from mourning to holiday, from darkness to great light, from bondage to redemption. Let us therefore recite before Him a new song – Halleluia!”
Words of beauty so anointed they reach in and grab the listener whenever spoken…
And I think how for over thirty years it’s been drummed in… don’t look to feelings. Sometimes God moves despite or without feelings. I get that. They aren’t always reliable.
Still… how God gifts us with tears of this kind! Warms our hearts with His. Makes us sit up and notice His arms coming around us. I don’t look for those feelings… they tiptoe in as unexpected messengers… tenderly reminding…
Look to the promise
He is bringing us out of the “egypts” in our lives
Remember miracles gone before and usher in those on the way with praise
See the Lamb foretold has come! Halleluia!
I love the scripture promise that reveals He stores all our tears in a bottle. And today, I wonder… does that include tears of awe? Maybe there’s a second one…just to hold the wonder of that joy, like fireflies in a jar.
Have you held a moment like that in tears recently?
…To Be Continued…
,
© Pam Depoyan
Sharing with: Thought Provoking Thursday
Imperfect Prose at Emily Wierenga’s place,
photos: http://www.fotosearch.com
Oh cliffhangers! You’re always leaving us in suspence, longing for more! =] But truly, this is so poignantly written, and how I agree. Why have we been taught for so many years to park our emotions outside the door of our hearts and to rely on our intelligence instead? Aren’t we to *love* God with all our hearts and minds? How could our hearts not be involved? Is God not an emotional God? Did Jesus not weep? And when tears glimmer, beading our cheeks, do they not reflect the tears of our Maker? You and Shelly have it right. And I think recently of the movie, Les Miserables…..my daughter, and even my husband, and I wept throughout. I think the thing about tears, about emotions is to ask what messages they have for us. What is the meaning behind the tears, the smile, the heart-beat, the emotion? When we can answer that (and sometimes even when we can’t), we discover a big part of the meaning of life.
Thank you so much, Pam. I eagerly anticipate Pt. 2!
Lynn
Thanks, Lynn… wow, this has been a crazy post. I had it exactly worded as I wanted, then when I went to import a photo, it lost all my changes! I still don’t think i have it the way i wanted, but oh well… Yes, you hit on some points i was thinking of too about Jesus weeping etc. Yes to all your rhetorical questions!
This post was just getting so long that I thought I should break it up…which reminds me, I left out Part One in the title… I’m glad this hits home to you too 
I haven’t seen that current Les Mis, but one in the past, so I know exactly what you mean. Plus I tear up at Hallmark commercials… used to try to stifle that in front of others, but as you say, those tears are a reflection of His heart, aren’t they? He did create us with emotion… I can see the problem if people are just going around looking for “great feelings’ and being disappointed if they aren’t there…but I think that is a separate idea that can sometimes rob us of understanding “the message in the tears…” Thanks!
Pam, I had meant to say, in answer to Shelly’s question, that yes, I have thought about the messages of tears. I use this prompt in journaling classes. And several weeks ago, I wrote a piece about crying unexpectedly on a snowy day, based on the most inocuous thing that happened. But those tears triggered something visceral and deep and I needed to follow their trace with my pen.
Yes… I agree how writing them down helps us “hear” more too…
I love the picture of that “snowy day” (if only I have the real atmosphere and not only in pictures & movies). But there is this feeling in me too as though being squeezed tightly almost to popping, which could point directly to the emotion one gets while watching the snow flakes….. coming down from heaven like drizzles of blessings…. soft yet consistent. That would be for me a cry for scene.
What a lovely picture you paint about the snow and blessings, Lolita. I love your poetic voice. Actually, for me, with this particular incident, it was what happened in the snow, when some boys were sledding in our yard….moved me to tears. I’ll have to share/write about it sometime. So glad you are back online again. You are this precious angel that brightens every screen. I know Pam thinks so!
Oh, yes, Pam, I’ve experienced it….sigh….
As always, beautifully expressed.
And I can’t wait for the “to be continued”…
I could not wait too for the next showing! I notice that we got here only part one.
Thank you, Diane… and I know He’s blessed you through another kind of tears just recently, as you shared on your blog…
Pam, I was so touched that when I came back to visit “Redemption’s Beauty” for the first time after I have been off-line, and read that very post. It made me stop and wonder at all the tear moments I was exposed too, if I have ever connected it at why it made me cry. And that is quite a revealing thing to me. Look inwardly-where it touches you and why-for that is the finger of God poking my very hear-as if pointing it to His.
I love it that you wrote this post in connection with Shelly’s. Up ’til this reply, I am still at awe as to the truth of this.
And I like the picture of tears like fireflies in a bottle signifying those tears of joy, wonder and delight. Thanks, Pam for bringing me closer to home.
Thank you for sharing that, Lolita. Yes, I think we do tend sometimes not to recognize “messages” of His heart all around us, and yes, even in tears… God must be speaking this in various ways on other blogs because I’ve read some other variations on this theme today. What you said about the snow above… do you have blossom trees that shed blossoms in the spring? I always have a similar feeling then, watching them falling, as I do with snow and with falling autumn leaves…
Yes, we have a tree that sheds flowers but i don’t catch it falling because I only see the fallen flowers on the ground like a carpet. It is called Narra Tree which is our National Tree. It grows so huge and old and the tiny yellow flowers smell so sweet. Makes the atmosphere fresh.
Those tears of awe and of joy … yes. I had this overwhelming anticipation of Heaven just this morning, and was drawn to tears. It seems so sacred to share in a comment box, like I’m afraid I couldn’t do it justice with a few words. So maybe I can tell you about it in person someday. It was such a tender moment ….
Just those simple words leave tears in mine, Jennifer… Such wonder, those moments. I’m glad He blessed you that way today. And I agree… these tender times, I think there really are no words to fully encompass. I think that is why it took me a week to try and put this one to “paper.” I sensed that in your blog story as I read it just now too. Light in the dark… Yes, it would be wonderful to share in person some time…
Maybe you’ll write about it at length, rather than in a short comment box. Maybe God will give you the words…..
L.
Oh, yes, to remember the miracles of the past . . . such grace! Thank you for sharing!
It’s amazing how easily we forget sometimes… Writing them down helps too.
Thanks, Mary.