The angel answered…“Nothing, you see, is impossible with God.”
And Mary said,
“Yes, I see it all now:
I’m the Lord’s maid, ready to serve.
Let it be with me
just as you say.”
~ Luke 1:36-38
She leans across the table and levels her question, phrased in a way that seems to hit out of blue.
“No,” I answer, hoping it ends there. But…nope… she goes on.
“So…not now…or not ever?” the stranger continues, unspoken query in tone that makes me wonder what is hidden there.
Suddenly, I feel like a bug under glass. A less than normal bug.
Because she’s hitting at a lifelong dream I’ve had to give up. One I try not to think about much, and mostly, truly, succeed in not dwelling on these days. But just this weekend… with one thing or another… it’s been in my “I just wish I understood why not” conversations with Him. I thought I was pretty much…letting it go. But once again…fighting the lie of missing the real in life. How some things are just too late. And purposing… not to let it get me down. So that these questions, in this moment, strike raw. I recognize the holder of the arrows – and it is not this basically friendly woman.
Don’t go there, I tell myself. Biting my lip.
Because, there are dreams that we just have to surrender. Dreams that seem God-sized for others…maybe for most others… but I guess, this one, not for me.
I think I hear similar echoes of your own self-doubts in comments here lately.
- “ME? A God-sized dream? For you, maybe. But not for me. My life’s too ordinary. I’m just not important or clever or [fill in]… ENOUGH.”
- “God-sized. Hmmm. Sounds overwhelming. Something for someone with more time…or know how… than I have.”
- “God knows… I’m too humble… What does that mean, God-sized, anyway?”
One thing I think it does not mean is… just for writers, or artists, or musicians.
Or… just for those who don’t stutter… or those who are young… or those who have platform.
Or…just for those who have it all together. (Does anyone?)
I remember how I once wrote to bolster someone, encouraging him to know and believe…he was a dream of God.
You are my God-sized dream too, He whispers again and again. And you…and you…
And like the angel bearing His favor and grace to Mary, He is calling, anointing us each to walk with Him in that dream…to hold and carry Him within…to listen for and follow specific dreams He plants inside our hearts and thoughts and fingers and voices. For they all lead back to His grand dream…to reveal His heart through us…and bring His children home.
His dream is grand. God-sized, for we certainly could not have thought it up.
But like raindrops held in suspension on a branch, the dreams He puts in you and me are just one at a time jewels meant to glisten and glimmer and turn the resulting pool into His Anne Shirley lake of shining waters over the world.
Certainly, for some of us, they may partly be things like writing a book, or a published story. Succeeding in a career direction… or finding doors of necessary provision.
But really it’s so far beyond that. A gift so much less intimidating than we think. Because, it isn’t up to us to achieve at all.
I had a dream that began when I was just a little girl. It was a prayer…for someone I didn’t really know. Couldn’t know. A prayer that grew and grew beyond myself…carried into my adulthood…ebbed and flowed in ways I could not have thought of by myself….and even led to a small world connection I never imagined. I didn’t understand that until many, many years had passed: That this was not my own dream.
So simple in the individual everyday moments, but I see now…over a lifetime…it came from a dream in His heart. A God-sized dream. If I had known in the beginning – I know I would have been daunted. I am just a child, Lord, I would have said.
Maybe you are saying that right now.
I am just a child, Father. What can I do?
I encourage you… listen to His whisper in your heart. Don’t be put off by the term, God-sized. Think raindrops.
So often, in your uplifting comments here, you leave me pearls stringed with hope. Encouraging me to believe I will write a book, or doors will open. I don’t really think in terms of books and things right now, though I do have dreams that God will take my words and art, make way for gifts He’s given to provide for me financially, set me free to bless others through them and…most of all…reflect the Father’s heart to those who are longing to know it…those He is wooing to know it…
I appreciate your words, most of all your prayers, in those directions. Most of all I long for those that are like that prayer dream… Ways He takes our hands and uses us to reveal a touch of His majesty on the world. It isn’t meant to be just about me, that I’m writing in blogging these God-sized dreams…
I want to encourage you to know He’s put God-sized dreams in you. So He can make you a hope-bearer.
God-sized. For most of us, that doesn’t mean inter-galactic.
It probably doesn’t mean going to missions around the world…though it might.
It may be as simple as a smile to a lonely stranger. A cookie on a plate. Or as wondrous as motherhood.
But I’m betting there is a gift in your hands, in your words, in your heart that He wants to set soaring.
And even as the angel sang to Mary… He is singing over you and over me…
You’re beautiful with God’s beauty,
Beautiful inside and out!
God be with you…
…You have nothing to fear. God has a surprise for you…” ~ Luke 1: 28 -33 (The Message)
Like Mary, we may be “thoroughly shaken, wondering what’s behind a greeting like that…”
I wonder now… could Mary have had a precipitous thought here and there as she was growing up that one day she would carry God’s son? Did she “see it all now” because God had already been preparing her heart for the news? You know, those amazing what ifs that pop into our minds and we shrug them off as crazy daydreams?
What if she had said no… impossible… not me?
Sometimes…out of the dreams that must be surrendered… still others, not fully imagined, are born…
Let not your heart give up. He is opening up the skies and watering your dreams right now…
© Pam Depoyan
What crazy impossible thoughts have you been “daydreaming” that might just be whispers of your God-sized dream?
Linking with Holley today at in writing “A Letter to the God-sized Dreamers – why those dreams are worth it, even on the hard days….” She says it so beautifully today and I encourage you to click the button with the key to read her words…
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