Mother’s Day Musings…

stock photo : Blooming Bradford pear trees in the spring along a curve in a rural road

The scent of pear trees in bloom is wafting  through my windows today, the trees circling my neighborhood like so many standing pearl rings – crowned with clouds of soft white glory, the delicate dogwood aside my porch railing dotted with the promise of pink buds…   Cherry Blossom, Sakura  iconsAnd I can’t help thinking… Oh Mom, how you would’ve loved all this, right outside my door…

Closing my eyes, I listen to the birds singing…and I remember 

Pretty flowers and leaves free flower clipart Standing close beside you, watching you lean into the mirror to put on your lipstick, pull out a funny-looking contraption to curl your eyelashes… and thinking I want to be pretty like you someday.

Pretty flowers and leaves free flower clipart Curling up on the couch together, letting Deanna Durbin’s heaven-reaching voice flow into my heart and feeling the beauty of her gift bringing tears to my eyes… just like yours… One of my first glimpses into the power of music on my soul…

Pretty flowers and leaves free flower clipart Falling in love with tenderhearted treasures like Jimmy Stewart in It’s A Wonderful Life, Greer Garson and Ronald Coleman in Random Harvest and Robert Donat in Goodbye Mr Chips… because first you loved them so… And how they put a sweetness in my mind…

Pretty flowers and leaves free flower clipart Dreaming of tap dancing and singing with Gene Kelly and Judy Garland, waiting each year for the night I could stay up once more to hear Judy melt me with Someday, Over the Rainbow and feeling your arm around me each time Shirley Temple’s Heidi seared me with her cries for Grandfather! Grandfather! as she was about to be sold to the gypsies… And how these stories and music  spun dreams into my heart…

Pretty flowers and leaves free flower clipart How you built delicious anticipation in me for each long-awaited new movie musical starring Debbie Reynolds, Julie Andrews or Audrey Hepburn.  And we’d get all dressed up, go downtown to see the big premiere, wait in lines circling one of the grand old movie theaters of the Golden Hollywood era…  and you’d tell me about the days when you and your best girlfriend were kids and you’d hop a bus downtown to see the latest film…  How we’d walk up to the lady in the booth to get our ticket-passports to a magical world where we’d sink into still-plush red velvet and gold seats and oooh and ahhh over the tear-drop chandelier wall sconces and ornately carved balconies of a bygone elegance… And I learned a joy in appreciating special moments…

Pretty flowers and leaves free flower clipart How you would read huge novels to me when my eyes were too weary from homework, filling me with a delight in words and literature that you had yourself…

Pretty flowers and leaves free flower clipart How you enjoyed and encouraged each one of my painting efforts and helped me to see the light and shading so I could add just the right stroke of color… on canvas and in life…

Pretty flowers and leaves free flower clipart Listening hours on end to you laughing and encouraging, comforting and praying with friends on the phone… And making me see what friendship really means…

Pretty flowers and leaves free flower clipart Knowing a deepening heart for God and all His beauty from seeing you live out faith and prayer…

Pretty flowers and leaves free flower clipart And overflowing with thankfulness to the One who captivates our hearts with His Artistry…because I first saw that rejoicing spirit in you…

So much beauty you opened my eyes and ears and heart to know… in life, in art, in music, film and faith… and how a love for stories flowed over it all… in the joy of discovering and sharing them hand in hand

One of those dream-like memories came to mind a few months ago, out of the blue.  Us, coming across a little gem of a movie on TV one long ago Sunday afternoon, falling in love with it… a simple, sweet story about a little girl and boy and the love they shared.   “Guess I’ll never see that one again, ” I thought,  for I’d never seen it since.  Then, as if God had whispered that memory to me and then led me to find it, there it suddenly was on a local bookstore shelf.  So appropriately titled,  Hand in Hand.   Watching it now so many years later… I feel you with me, see your smile and remember your heart touching mine.

Today… the many “Happy Mother’s Day” greetings from so many strangers everywhere I go… each one assuming I’m a mom too… ring bittersweet in my ears.  A bit melancholy for all the dreams I know can never be for me.  A mix of sadness that you are no longer here… Yet… I have sweetness in knowing someday, you’ll be first in line to show me all the beauties of a heaven I can only imagine and you now behold...over the rainbow, way up high…   and here and now, I thank Him for giving me you, and whisper…

Happy Mother’s Day, Mom.

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About Pam@Writing...Apples of Gold

I love to hear your thoughts, even chat back and forth amongst comments.Won't you join the conversation? :) ..................................................................................................................... May my stories refresh you, like a whisper from our Father's Heart !
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17 Responses to Mother’s Day Musings…

  1. sharon bangle says:

    Great illustrations & sweet memories….I was totally picturing your mom sharing all those moments with you. I even made notes of the movies you watched to see if I could get them from my library to maybe watch now with my daughters or granddaughter. I thoroughly appreciate how deliberate your mom was in sharing herself with you — seizing each moment — that’s wisdom. And you inherit that wisdom. You might not be a mom, but you are a fabulous aunt to all our children. And we are all very grateful. So HAPPY, HAPPY AUNT’S DAY to a wonderful gal!!!!!!! I love you, Sharon xo

  2. Thanks, Sharon. That’s sweet… I appreciate your words. Mother’s day can be a little depressing to me sometimes, but it’s good to be able to share with all the kids in my life. They bring a light to us all. We just had a fun day celebrating Katie’s son’s three year old birthday. What a sweetie he is! Hope you had a wonderful day yesterday!

  3. lolitavalle says:

    Oh, what blessings from God are our Moms.
    A lot of hard-core values learned, and love shared and kept…. life lived and moments of joy to recall.

    Such a loving and pretty poetic account of your Mother, Pam. I love this and I could put your words for my Mom too although scenes are not quite the same, but feelings are. She is there in NY but while here visiting last April, I have hugged her and slept with her and heard her soft purring-like snore I love so much, while she peacefully rested her head.

    Thank you for directing us to this pretty ode fore your Mom.

    Happy Mothers Day to all the Moms!

    • Thank you, Lolita. There are so many more memories, but this was just a touch of what I was “musing on” last year at this time. Sometimes I still miss her so strongly and I find myself teary-eyed… I guess we never get over that … but heaven has never seemed so close since knowing she is there now. I know exactly what you mean about your feelings for your mom. Maybe you will get to NY someday to visit her and D too. 🙂

      Happy Mother’s Day to you! I have a feeling you are a wonderful mom and your children call you blessed too!

  4. Diane says:

    Precious, Pam, are your memories. And your hope in seeing your mom again. Wow! If all daughters could remember such details…

    I love you!

    • Thanks Diane… I know your daughter and sons remember more than you think they do. Especially Alece, since she is a writer. Part of our makeup to remember the details… 🙂 And their hearts reflect your heart renewed in Him. A new cycle of love beginning with you…

  5. Betty Draper says:

    Pam, glad I stopped by today as I have been a little weepy about my mother. She is 85 and confined to a wheelchair in a nursing home. What I thought was guilt has been something I have lived with for the past two years that she needed around the clock care. Guilt that it was not me taking care of her even though my brother and sister in law are her care takers and go see her every day. Guilt for becoming aggreivated at her when I do get to visit at her constant repeating her self. Guilt will keep us from enjoying what little time we have left with someone. Guilt that God did not want me to live under so He put a woman in my life who works with Hospise and another agency who helps the eldery. She said to me one day as I was lamenting about Mom…Betty is it really guilt you are dealing with since from what you have told me you tried every thing to get your Mom to come live with you. She said, so often it is grief we feel instead of guilt. As soon as she said the word, grief, I started crying for it rang so true to my heart, it was grief, not guilt.

    I love the memories you have about your mother…and am thankful I have some very good ones too. My mother is a believer and she is so ready to leave her dress of flesh. I did get to talk to her by phone on Mothers Day…cried a bucket of grief tears afterwards. Blessings my friend.

    • lolitavalle says:

      Yes, Betty……. it is only grief. Guilt is what our enemy would like us to believe in.
      Bless you and your Mom as we all continue to live this life God has made us to travel with.

      I so love you word “My mother is a believer and she is so ready to leave her dress of flesh. ”

      It sounds so much like the poem I posted in a blog written by Joan Walsh Anglund:

      I shall be older than this one day.
      I shall think myself young when I remember.
      Nothing can stop the slow change of masks
      my face must wear, one following one.
      These gloves my hands have put on, the pleated skin, patterned by the pale tracings of my days…
      These are not my hands!
      And yet these gloves do not come off!
      I shall wear older ones tomorrow, till, glove after glove,
      and mask after mask, I am buried beneath the baggage
      of Old Woman.
      Oh, then, shall I drop them off,
      Unbutton the sagging, misshapen apparel of age,
      and run, young and naked, into Eternity!

      • Betty Draper says:

        Powerful poem…thanks for penning it for me…lifted my heart..yes she is so ready and I am ready for her to put her robe of righteousness on…

    • Thanks, Betty. I know a lot of what you are feeling. My mom was ill for the last 15 years of her life, living on the other side of the country with my dad and sister who were her caretakers. Her illness started with repeating things every few minutes… it is so hard to see our parents who were once so strong now becoming so old. I pray God wraps you in His peace about it all and that your joy in your times with your mom throughout your life will hold you close. Every time I think grief is over, something can make me teary eyed once more. But I have never felt closer to heaven than since she has gone to be there… it all seems so much more real now. I know your mom knows your heart… in the end my mom could not say much on her own but “yes” and “no.” But in sudden times, she would look softly into our eyes and just say from the heart, “I love you…” Love lasts forever and goes beyond all these hard times. I’m glad your mom is ready for heaven too. Mine was a strong intercessor for many years…and I think she must be even now. Blessings to you too. I hope my post may bring back some sweet memories of your own.

  6. Betty Draper says:

    Pam, bless you for your response, my heart is ready for my Mom to exchange her dress of flesh for her heavenly robe…yes, I do believe heaven becomes more real as those we personally know give up this life for true fullness of life with the Lord…”she will meet your Mom” and they can talk about their girls…comforting thoughts…

    • Thank you, Betty. That’s a beautiful thought about them meeting in heaven. I know what you mean about being ready… it was hard to see my Mom so debilitated at the end, but somehow I just couldn’t pray for the Lord to take her. But in the moment she left, we knew her joy. I pray that comes soon for your mom, home in her Father’s arms. I love that poem Lolita found from JWA, too. Yes, comforting thoughts…

  7. Jillie says:

    Hi Pam! I’ve been sent here by my friend Lynn. So glad I backtracked to this post! I had a troubled relationship with my Mom. But I loved her and needed her more than she needed me. She did, however, give me a love of old movies, just like your Mom. Greer Garson! Possibly the most beautiful woman whose ever lived! We loved her in ‘Mrs. Miniver’, and I own a copy today. Watch it every so often. Mom taught me the names of so many old actors–like Spencer Tracy, Katherine Hepburn, Jeff Chandler, (whom she crushed on), Alan Ladd…the list goes on. Mom loved a good movie. My husband and I collect old B & W movies because of her influence.
    I lost my Mom 34 years ago this August–she was only 44 when she died—2 1/2 weeks before my first baby was born. I still miss her, especially in the month of May. Her birthday was May 7th—my Wedding Anniversary. Her Anniversary was May 9th. And, of course, Mother’s Day. For the past several years I have taken to sending Mother’s Day cards to a few women who became ‘mother’ to me after she died—There’s my Aunt Janet (Mom’s younger sister), my best girlfriend’s Mom, Mary, and my dear Aunt Jo on my Dad’s side of the family. These women helped me so much through that difficult time and for years after. God blessed me with these who stepped up and fostered a 23-year-old, new mother. I am eternally grateful.
    This was a beautiful tribute, Pam.

  8. Jillie, I’m so sorry you had such a hard relationship, but so blessed by the good things you share of your love for her. So young! My mom’s birthday was May too… And oh so true about Greer Garson’s beauty! So many who don’t know all these wonderful actors and movies, it is sad. I love Mrs Miniver too… Do you know Random Harvest? Oh, it is such a beautiful one. I think it may even be that I came in on the last beautiful scene in that movie recently that made me want something like this bench (I can’t have a picket fence here or I’d want that 🙂 ) , when the couple is standing before an old beloved cottage, entering a picket fence and pushing back a blossom tree And another one of hers based on a heart breaking true story, Blossoms in the Dust… I have my own collection, but mostly from taping off TCM…I think that is beautiful that you remember all those women at Mother’s day… Thank you so much for stopping by and sharing!! I can tell we are kindred spirits… just like Lynn too.

  9. Pam~~
    Mother’s Day stirs the emotions that seem to be always bubbling right beneath the surface. I am a Mother, I have a Son and I pray he is safe. Mother’s Day takes me back to a moment in a ICU room at a hospital~~my Mom had been through heart surgery that went bad and she was slowly leaving this world, as Six Long weeks passed before her time came. We had volumes of hurt in our lives~~~I spent days sitting in a waiting room, thinking there would be no chance of mending the Pain between us–when suddenly a ICU nurse came for me and said “Your Mother is awake!”

    She said “You can have FIVE minutes with her” -suddenly all the issues and hurt began falling away from me as I rushed to her side~~~she had the brightest eyes and when I reached her bed, I knew she was fully present, propped up in bed and smiling!! Death was surrounding her-due to so much blood loss,her once strong hands had turned black—I had to look past all of that and make the most with my time. I smiled at her through my tears, telling her “Mom, I am okay” as I kept touching my chest, letting her know my heart was healed and also begging for her to forgive the hurts I had caused her to endure. We held hands–she could not speak because she was tied to so many tubes~~a horrible aching cough would grab her as she struggled to keep going.

    She began gently pulling me closer–I felt she wanted to speak, Suddenly she tugged one more time for me to get close and gave me a gentle kiss on my cheek. It was the only time in my life that I remember being kissed by my Mom. Our FIVE minutes were over- and we found our way back to Mother and Daughter.

    Thank you Pam for letting me share. love, martha

    • Martha… such a bittersweet memory for you, I know. But a gift from Him for both of you in those last five minutes. I’m so glad you had that moment, that you could each reach out to the other and let the old hurts slip away (and whatever hurt was in her own life that may have led to her own inability to express her love to you). I think someday there will be a wonderful reunion between you… in a time and place where the hurts melt away (like lemon drops, as Judy sang!) and you will rejoice in His love between you forever. May that be a Mother’s Day hope in your heart this year. I pray for healing and restoration in your son’s life in whatever way is needed too. Thank you for being so open — I think we never know who reads these and also prays for us… surrounding us in prayer and light and life and healing. Blessings to you today, Martha…

  10. Pingback: To All The Women Who Shape Our Lives… | Writing… Apples of Gold

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