Song Sung JOY

A couple of years ago I read a moving article written by a woman who struggled for years to forgive her abusive mom. She’d prayed about it, asked the Lord to give her a softened heart.  Still, the hurt seemed too overpowering.  Then…one night…she had a wondrous dream….

She found herself in a sunny meadow where breezes were gently blowing and lifting the heads of hundreds of flowers all around her to the sky. There, she was captivated by the peace and loveliness broken only by birds singing…  and then, coming from just a little distance away… the sound of a child’s carefree laughter singing out over the meadow.  As she listened, it seemed to her that the child’s delight was adding a song all it’s own to the land, like a light rain bringing everything into sharper focus, deeper life.  Looking around, she spotted the little girl on the banks of a stream, painting with watercolors that seemed to flow rainbows of colors from the child’s fingertips out onto her paper and into the atmosphere.  Her eyes were dancing, her spirit singing as no other child the woman knew.

What is this place and who is that little girl?” she asked the Lord with awe.

That is your mother,” He answered, softly.

Startled, the woman looked once more at the little girl.  No longer a bitter adult whose face was etched with anger, this was a child so filled with light and hope and creativity… and radiance.  It couldn’t be, she thought.  Yet

Kadin in Bluebonnets_20100420160350_JPGOh, Mom,” the woman choked back with sudden realization of where the abuse had begun. “Who stole this light from you?”  In that moment, forgiveness washed freely over her and she woke with deeper peace than she’d ever known.  And a fresh knowing – No matter our age, no matter our sorrows or joys, we are each ever His children, made whole anew and filled with light…For that is how He sees us – and renews us – through eyes of Grace.

 

Royalty-Free Vector Clip Art Illustration of a Border Of Two Orange Butterflies And Black Lines by elena

“Do you see us ever as the children you created us to be, Lord?” I wonder, as the image of this woman’s dream seems so vivid…almost like a movie scene… before me.  I’m reminded  how I always look at the adults I once knew as children, and often see their sweet faces as they were then, even now… pictures in time that never fade…still there inside them…  And of that touching scene in “Father of the Bride” where Steve Martin sees his grown daughter as a little girl, announcing her engagement.  Yes, the heart of the Father...

I think of the post I wrote last about the endearing age of nine, and sharing what it might be like to be that age again for just one day.. not necessarily as we once were… but in a redeemed day.  I love the charming description Lolita left in that post’s  comments about the day she envisions for herself…  and how it lifts me like a kite to the sky and just makes me smile as I close my eyes.  For I can just see her there:

Photo: Fig tree, Philippines

“I would be up a tree,” she wrote, “holding on to a limb, swinging my feet and feeling the breeze as they rustle the leaves. Later in the late afternoon, I will be settled in a hammock, reading away a book, or a bound-together comic book, full of fairy tales, borrowed from a close friend……. reading away and imagining what it would be like to be the princess who was all black and blue over a pea under a dozen mattresses, or how heavy the tresses of Rapunzel were.

Then tomorrow, I am planning to bike around the island to visit my cousins, swim with them in the beach down their backyard, then pick Green Mangoes and together we would eat them with some salted tiny shrimp paste.

.

I think of Diane’s comment there too about her desire to play as she was never given freedom to play -and of anyone else who may have felt the same – and I think I see you too 🙂 … there by that stream in the story above.  Coloring… singing…dancing…running free in imagination and creativity inherited from the Father.  Free in who you were created to be.  For God Himself is taking your hand and leading you into the Light of a new day… your own redeemed day… to wipe away any darkness that once was and bring new light and joy and freedom into who you are now…

And to Martha… I see Him smiling on you and taking your hands… Yes! He says, more than okay to smile…  🙂

As far as my own redeemed day goes?  Mmmm….

I imagine myself kneeling at a sandy shore once more with another slightly younger friend and my sister.  Off to the side, glorious sparkles are riding the crests of white-frothed waves, and in front of me, we are building the sand castle of my dreams.  This time…as never before… it really IS taking perfect shape as we pack our Dixie cups with mud and pop the solid formed dirt out to make turrets.  I take my finger, and like Mom does with pie dough, I make indentations at the top of each turret, to simulate the brick- spaced walls.  Incredibly, to my eyes, we are suddenly able to shape and form and turn this blob into a shining castle rivaling Sleeping Beauty’s at Disneyland. We make the moat and fill it with water.  We set a paper flag in the highest tower and begin to make up the scenarios of who is living there and what they are doing.

One time, like Lolita, we dream of Rapunzel.  Always, always, we populate our castle with a princess awaiting her prince…    Later, we laugh as we try to run in and out of the teasing ripples of white wave lace touching the shore…

We munch on sandwiches and chips and grapes, saving Mom’s homemade brownie nut squares topped with melty fudge frosting for last… we huddle close in our white terrycloth robes, reveling in the familiar warmth of this time together as the sun goes down on the water and coolness descends, then gather everything and everyone back to our car.  Cozy and toasty with bits of sand still between our toes, we doze nearly on top of each other in the backseat while the parents handle the ride home…

And as I see this picture… I know now… nine is the last  of my carefree time in our family’s life before turmoil and daily going to school with an upset stomach and ultimate tragedy stole so much of our joy for so many years.  But somehow… now, in the light of His Grace on this redeemed day… light washes over me like the waves to the sand, and I know… He alone makes all things new.

For He is the Bridegroom who sees us only as Beloved.  Calls us…dearest of friends.  Lovely… spotless… and ever joyous.  He knows our hearts and pronounces them… good.

And I am so grateful to know His hand has always been in mine…even –     no, especially – when I didn’t know.

©  Pam Depoyan

Linked to “Playdates…”  – because in the background of our “redeemed day” is a day spent in “play” with the Lord…

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About Pam@Writing...Apples of Gold

I love to hear your thoughts, even chat back and forth amongst comments.Won't you join the conversation? :) ..................................................................................................................... May my stories refresh you, like a whisper from our Father's Heart !
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10 Responses to Song Sung JOY

  1. Diane R. couldn’t get her comment to go thru again… so here is what she sent me on email:

    Pam…I’m in tears and cannot comment right now. This has touched me deeply. I will come back…
    I love you, Pam!

    http://www.warmtheheart.blogspot.com

  2. LOLITA VALLE says:

    Oh my, Oh my, Pam….. my heart is aching with joyous remembrance.

    Thank you for mentioning our little contributions of our own redeemed day at age 9. I love how you phrase them to be included in this so endearing post. I always await for your weekend post, knowing how busy you are with your new project, and always believing it would be a whole week’s worth of beauty and light.

    It washes over me, through and through, just this very moment, how I look back at the time I had no misgivings and dreams were still alive and not yet due, something to look forward to…… that it is always easier to look at things in the eyes of a 9 year old…… and so easy to forgive.

    • Thank you, Lolita. That means so much. I’m so glad you are touched by this. As i wrote out that story from memory, it was making me cry all over again. Yes…God is SO good in how He covers all our sorrows and mistakes….and enfolds us in beauty and joy.

  3. LOLITA VALLE says:

    I still have something to add, Pam, thanks for the space, but I have to sign off now. My PC is off for major surgery. Pray that it would come out a better PC to perform my commands.

    See you soon, after we come out of the OR.

    Hugs

  4. Martha Herden says:

    Pam-This is a beautiful post that God guided you to write, then you stepped back to let GOD enter this post! Your words about me were very moving, reaching deep into the core of my heart. Years ago after having attended a spiritual retreat (only one I ever went to-the only one) and at the end of it, I found myself in a tiny chapel, so deep in prayer, reflecting backward with deep sorrow and it felt as if God had stepped into that chapel, was beside me, HIS loving arms around me, holding me as I let go of a lot of painful memories. It was like a huge weight had been lifted from my heart and yet when I rose to leave the chapel, I paused to look back and it felt like God was reminding me “Daughter, the journey still ahead of you will NOT be easy-but I am HERE with you always!”

    Long ago, Yesterday, Today and all the days ahead of me, I know with full assurance, my Lord is with me.

    God bless you for this beautiful post. Martha

  5. Thank you so much, Martha, for your BEAUTIFUL words. God seemed to be putting this post on my heart all last week and I was afraid I would be forgetting it by the time I’d have a moment to actually write it. I always pray that He leads as I write, and this one did seem to me that He had “entered it” as you say. Even when I re-read my paraphrased story about the dream, it moves me each time like it didn’t come just from me and my memory of it… I’m blessed to know that He blessed you and others in this post, ministering to your hearts as only He knows how to do… Yes, He is with you always! He is showing me so much lately about the blessings in Deut. 28 – and how they tie into the New Testament. How Jesus’ death for us redeemed that blessing covenant for all of us. Over and over again it talks about “Abraham’s blessing” now applying to us, because the Lord has grafted us into “his seed.” May you be blessed coming in and going out, with everything you set your hand to, in all your ways as Jesus gave His life to give us… 🙂

  6. LOLITA VALLE says:

    Living for a moment at age 9, I came to a resolution that it is in this age that we are so generous and easy to forgive. I love to look back from where I have been, examining my thoughts and things buried deeply, like unprocessed hurts, and things I also need to forgive about my own self….. self-blames etc. Oh how it makes our yoke lighter…… unburdening them all upon the One who bids us to, casting all upon Him….. then we could walk brighter and lighter…. affecting others around us. How blessed it could be!

    • I think you are right, Lolita. And if we can really begin to have that childlike heart… as He bids us to… then He can help us walk brighter and lighter, as you say. A blessing for us, and a making us a blessing to those around us too. Thanks for these uplifting thoughts… From all the thoughts shared here, I’m thinking God must have something special He wants to do in each of us along these lines of a “redeemed childhood day…” – more than I even knew when I began writing this theme… but He knew. 🙂

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