Watershed Prayers

“At first I found it very awkward to pray for someone  I didn’t even know…The answers to [my] questions weren’t revealed as I prayed for Beverly, but I did find out how much the Lord loved her and that she was not forgotten by him. Many days I found myself in tears as I entered into prayer for her…  God, I told him, I’ve grown to love Beverly…”

                                            ~ Susan Morin, “Letters to a Stranger,”                                                  Chicken Soup for the Family Soul

As a child, maybe 8, 9 or 10

I didn’t grasp what you were doing, Lord.

I didn’t know this feeling in me was anything unusual.

I didn’t question why.

I only knew…the gift you put in him reached out and touched my soul

With you…with him

Mysteriously connecting… stranger to stranger.

Giving me a sense of him having lost his way home to you…though not really knowing why I thought so…or how I, so young, recognized an adult’s silent cry…

And making me want him to know you, reaching out to him…

The way you were making yourself known to me.

.

As his gift sang …

joy…

light…

spirit of praise…

compassion into me,

You seemed to pour out watershed tears

of prayer…from you to me… for him.

.

Into my teens, I knew more, felt your leading

Understood deeper reasons of prayerful need,

Still… I did not grasp

Could not know…

The depth and whys of your tears decanted out upon my heart for him…

A stranger to me in most ways…yet, somehow, not completely.

Tragedies in my own life, like a mirror held to what I knew of his,

Deepened my care

And I began to glimpse your tender, tender heart

Revealing,

Writing,

Your promises into my words of prayer.

Encouraging me…cheering me…to speak them out over his life and loved ones

Like seeds placed in your hands to water with your unerring rain…

Words that can never go out empty

But oh so more than accomplish what you send them out to do.

Moments…so many accumulated time upon time moments of prayerful, fasting, lifting up to you…O Lord let your light rise upon him…

Still his gift sang

joy…

light…spirit of praise… 

compassion into me,

and you seemed to pour out watershed tears of prayer…from you to me… for him.

Some forty-plus years

Of prayers

Only YOU could pen,

Only YOU could sustain,

Only YOU could run like sand through an hourglass

— Timed down to his last fluttering breath —

Leave me teary-eyed…every time I contemplate hows and whys,

Open my eyes to incredulous wonder.

They make me know with greater truth… it hasn’t been so much me, but rather your anointing oil of intercession poured into me, a child, and kept going, over my life and his.

And the one word reason for it all is your… LOVE…for the one lost lamb.

Leading to a never-dreamed window of time you opened up in recent years

gone much too swiftly…

The written words sent out to a heart that was now listening

You…weaving our lives to intersect… so that he told me I had his ear…

And all of this, confirming,

Beyond anything I ever…ever… imagined.

Personally speaking your encouragement,

Your treasured love for him,

Your patient-for-a-lifetime, wooing heart —

And knowing days were growing short…

You…blessing me to send one last card… holding out your hand of hope…simple words of receiving prayer for his lips to you…

My trusting you to put it in his hands…one more time…

And when the news comes…the sad report that pools unshed in me…

A last breath…a last prayer ~

I ask you,

Lord…did you weave them together one last time?  Is he really home?

Words dance lightly into my tears…and I think I hear your jubilant voice…

Rejoice!  For this my son was lost, and today he is found!

In my humanness, I still long to know for sure…what maybe I won’t until heaven.  Ask you to some way, somehow, have someone who may have taken his physical hand in prayer… let me know

And yet… you comfort me beyond words with light upon my soul that assures,

After a lifetime of wooing prayers, would I ever let anything

hold me back from where I want to go?

And as I think of all this, I know with all that I am — his heart is where you wanted to go.  So,  O Lord, I can only breathe with living hope that has no words…

You have shown me years of how MUCH you love him…thereby grown your love in me…

Thank you that even unto his last breath, you did not forget him.

.

©   Pam Depoyan

O, Let us meet by the river…

The beautiful, the beautiful, river.

O Let us meet by the river…

That flows by the throne of our God.

~ Robert Lowry, Hymn paraphrase,

Shall We Gather at the River

Joining the Five Minute Friday community with the one word prompt: Grasp  (Um…okay, I’ll admit… this one was a little over the time limit… 🙂   But the heart of this piece has been behind my last several posts… all speaking of His victorious love.)

And with… Faith Filled Friday,

Eileen (Into the Beauty),  

WIWW click here

Thought Provoking Thursday

        Beauty in His Grip Button

   

photos:  http://www.fotosearch.com

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About Pam@Writing...Apples of Gold

I love to hear your thoughts, even chat back and forth amongst comments.Won't you join the conversation? :) ..................................................................................................................... May my stories refresh you, like a whisper from our Father's Heart !
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21 Responses to Watershed Prayers

  1. Nikki says:

    What a beautiful, heartfelt post…this is so encouraging to me to keep on praying, even when I don’t see “fruit” from these prayers…you never know how long it may be before answers come! Thank you for reminding us to have a long view–God’s perspective.

    • Nikki, my eyes are full of tears as i finish posting and read your words. Yes, it has been such a long time…and I’m feeling a sudden loss at the end of the prayers. A wish to peek into Heaven right now. I’m so glad this comes across without me even naming who this stranger is… Thank you for letting me know it encouraged you!

  2. Pam-
    Your heart is exactly where God wants it to be-to read these words that flow so easily from you-it is a Gift of the Spirit-no question, no doubt. God smiles as you honor HIM. I loved the ending-“Shall we Gather by the River” brought memories back to me of being in church with my Granny, all the voices blending together to make a joyful sound unto the Lord.

    Cling hard to your God-given talent Pam, push at those doors that are waiting for you to gently knock on~~~ Your time will come and these beautiful words shall be treasured by so many.

    Bless you for sharing.
    Martha

    • Thank you Martha! Your words bless me so much. A lot of things up in the air in my life at the moment, but I do know God is working on doors I don’t yet see. I’m thinking about writing up a more specific piece on this to send to Chicken Soup for the Soul. Writing this today has felt like a prayer in itself… a prayer of wonder and gratefulness to a God who makes us His partners in prayer like this. A prayer of thankfulness that he never gave up on this one I lifted to him, and in fact instigated prayer to work through to that end. It still amazes me as I see his hand directing it in ways I haven’t known until now. I don’t know how many people may ever read what I write, but I’m grateful to know they touch you and others here!

      I love your memory of that hymn. I didn’t grow up with it, except maybe in lovely old movies. But somehow, it came into my mind and heart as I finished this piece… river, its a word the Lord gave me in connection with my prayers.

  3. MaryLou says:

    What you wrote reminded me of someone I did pray for and I didn’t know how much until I recently began reading some old journals and was surprised how many times I did pray for him. What was really amazing to me was I did pray for him one day after not having done so for awhile not knowing that his time was short. Only God knows where he is at this moment but I have to believe that God put him on my heart one more time right before he would be leaving this world behind him. Thank you for sharing these beautifully moving words. Would be so amazing if we could see even once what happens in the spirit world when we do pray! 🙂

    • Yes, MaryLou… I think we would be utterly amazed at all God does through our prayers! I know all we shared about the one you prayed for too… and now with this moment, I do know that no prayer is wasted and how God is moving moving moving to reach every one – especially when time is short.. I’m so glad you were moved by these words. May they give hope to all who are praying similarly. It really seemed like one last prayer as I wrote this…like God putting words in my heart to share here. Wouldn’t it be wonderful to be able to see even like looking through a one sided window into heaven at the moment someone we care about enters?

      • MaryLou says:

        Hi Pam, what a beautiful thought you had about the one sided window into heaven that would be awesome really. When my mom left us behind I wondered if my dad was waiting for her. I picture him with his arms open wide to welcome her home. I am so very grateful that someday I will see Jesus and also my parents when I also reach my Heavenly Home some sweet day. 🙂

  4. lolita says:

    Pam, I too, would love to have a little peek into heaven and see for myself that he is where our prayers would like him be, happy, whole and truly cleaved forever in Jesus.

    I am with you even just in thoughts and sentiments so joined. I’d love to hug you tight until we both shall grasp His message in this.

    With my love.

    • Oh, thank you Lolita! I know you know my heart on this and this one… I have been thinking of you and praying for you and wishing I could share with you. Maybe you are online… I will try to email you shortly. Thank you so much for your prayers in this too.

  5. Oh, Pam, this is so beautiful! You speak to my heart in confirming that our labor for Him is never wasted — that He always notices, & that even if there are no rewards in this life, there will be throughout eternity! Imagine what it will be like to meet your friend in Glory, and all those you prayed for, and to know that you played a part in their being there. Even when we can’t see or hear the answer to prayer, He hears our pleas. Prayer pleases Him and changes us!

    Thanks so much for visiting and commenting on Saved by Grace! Your blog is a blessing and I am now following it, and I invite you to follow Saved by Grace also:
    http://savedbygracebiblestudy.blogspot.com/

    Your sister in Christ,
    Laurie

    • Thanks Laurie! Yes, I was planning to sign up for yours too! Your post was so beautiful and so kindred to me… I often think of that song that was popular a few years ago – thank you, for giving to the Lord…. How amazing that will be. I can’t even fathom. As I finished this post, that beautiful hymn came to mind and hasn’t left me since. Meeting at the beautiful river. Mmm… meeting in Glory with those we have somehow had a part in sharing Him with… it’s a beautiful picture. I have to believe the Lord is speaking confirmation to me in all this of His answer to all those many prayers…

      Thank you for your encouraging words here – I’m going to share your blog with others too… 🙂

      • Thanks, Pam — I appreciate your sharing my blog with others. I believe that time is short before the Lord returns, and that He is stirring mightily in His children. It is truly a blessing to meet a kindred spirit!

  6. Such tender, heart-filled words here. Thank you. Such peace here.

  7. Thanks again, Laurie. I feel the same way. 🙂

  8. Cheryl Smith says:

    I don’t need to know who the “he” is in this story, to know that he is blessed to have found an intercessor in you. And God, in His infinite mercy, allows us to be part of His story, even speaking us to pray for strangers. Simply beautiful!

  9. Eileen says:

    “Words that can never go out empty” I love the hope in that sentence. Beautiful, Pam. Thank you for linking up.

    • O, so do I… the beautiful promise of Isaiah 55:11, a verse I hold onto!

      So shall My word be that goes forth from My mouth;
      It shall not return to Me void,
      But it shall accomplish what I please,
      And it shall prosper in the thing for which I sent it.

      Thank you, Eileen! 🙂

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