Hope Has Wings

After forty years of prayers, believing and hoping for things unseen, it’s hard to let go.

To not have seen or heard or know for sure.

Words of promise immediately-breathed to my heart in his passing, light me now with hope –

Rejoice!  For this my son was lost,

and today he is found! 

For I know they are words of His Word.

Still... I ask.  Whisper into this day he has gone…

…Please Father, would you keep showing me this isn’t just my own wistfulness?  Letting me know…he really is with you?  That you never let go of reaching his heart?  Speak into my dreams.  Into my days…

And suddenly, I am remembering something from about a week earlier…

When…flittering light and airy, it tumbles as if out of nowhere…just beyond my windshield… while I wait at a light.  I lean in for a closer look.  A falling leaf – this soon?     In that barely-a-breath week or two between summer and fall, it doesn’t seem likely.

No…I peer deeper…a golden butterfly.

Strangely hovering an infinitesimal second more, as if suspended by unseen strings…it holds on midair, like Disney animation right before my eyes. Almost…purposefully. I’ve never seen one do that before.  It catches me, like a ray through a cloud, before I really know why.

A nudging feel of the Holy Spirit warms over me.  Pressing a memory moment.

Does this have some meaning, Lord? I puzzle. It gives me an inexplicable feeling of… peace…assurance. A warm sensation of oil of joy poured out.   But I’m not sure why,      or what for.

I’m not one who is looking around for signs in place of Him.   Still, more and more I’m asking Him to make me aware of His heart…especially through His Word…To speak into my prayers, decisions, days… and help me to hear. Open my eyes to Him in such easy-to-miss moments.

In everyday ways and extraordinary ones.

Now, I suddenly know.

A message of hope… sent to me ahead of time.

Hope has wings even before you fully see…”  I hear gently, in this praying to know, over the lump in my throat.

Days slip into a week, then two…autumn trees from gold to red to letting go of dancing, shimmering, shimmying leaves… and hope resides.

     Every day, I catch a falling star of His assurance in heart and hand, and hold them like wonderlight in a jar.

For again and again, wherever I turn…He is sending me echoes of his prodigal promise…

  • I hear it from Beth Moore one noon as I’m driving, quickly blinking back those melting tears at the precise way He speaks to my prayer in her same call to rejoice in the one now found…
  • I hear it from my TV when someone is again word-painting the radiant look of the Father running towards His long-prayed for son, not restraining any longer, but being first to reach out and make His heart known… in the arms of love
  • I see it online in a particularly moving watercolor someone has posted of the Lord embracing a young man at the gates of heaven…
  • I rediscover it in words God-breezed across my journal pages early in the year… You will see wonders come forth this year in answer to your prayers – life long prayers!
  • And in those I journaled out of prayer only five days before the end… I am turning his eyes upon Jesus. He is looking up.  I use what you’ve shared to make rows and plant seeds…and now those seeds are sprouting leaves fresh and green and moving and growing into his heart. I am watering and they are growing exponentially…  My life, lush and healthy and healing.  I sing your prayers inside him, washing him in my Word and Truth.  You will see one day and together rejoice.
  • I cherish it in promise that leaps off the page of The Word and waves as a banner of His joy in my heart...Surely the Lord was fighting for him and did not let go without victory...(Joshua 10:14)…
  • I hear it in his waking me in the middle of the night to neon words of Keith Green’s Easter Song singing on my lips… He is risen, Hal…le…lu…ia!  He is risen!  Hallelu…ia!
  • I remember it in Word He’s led me to pray for him all my life… I will give him an undivided heart and put a new spirit in him, I will remove a heart of stone and give a heart softened unto Me… He will be my people and I his God…(Ezekiel 11: 18 -20) and I will give him a heart to know me, that I am the Lord…I will be his God and he will return to me with all his heart. (Jeremiah 24:7)
  • I hold it close in the thoughtfulness of a friend who calls, another who e-mails, knowing my heart…

And the list goes…wondrously, lovingly, astonishingly…on.

As every day I ask for light anew…

The Lord keeps on confirming this life long prayer answered….

Sends one more note of… just believe the joy.

“Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer,

believe that you have it, and it WILL be yours.”  (Mark 11:24)

Have you not asked in MY Name all these years? He reminds,

on a whoosh of Holy Spirit-breathed faith across me…


Lighting a flame that cannot go out.

Speaking to how He longs to show us…asking only that we look expecting to see…

Yes, Yes! I realize, then.

I will take that Word as promise that can’t be broken.  

And still He sends hope-confirmed, to fall and dazzle all around me… at my feet.

To remind me that he has seated us already in the Heavenlies, so that He is the one who emboldens and empowers our prayers to move mountains.

Because He is waiting, His Words of life to perform,

To show us His mighty love

To even whisper on the wings of a golden butterfly

I have it covered.


©  Pam Depoyan

For all those still in your prayers…

Hold fast to His prodigal promise:

  He will never…no never… let them go. 

He is even now singing your words of His Word  over them…

prayers taking root, behind the scenes readying

for resurrection bloom.

Sharing this post with:



with: Multitudes on Monday counting blessings with this blogging community, for all the ways God is speaking to us and helping us to hear, for hope that whispers believe the joy, for the prodigal promise that God will never let go without victory, for light and His word of joy sung over us all.

     DeepRootsatHomeGrace Laced Mondays

Thought Provoking Thursday


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About Pam@Writing...Apples of Gold

I love to hear your thoughts, even chat back and forth amongst comments.Won't you join the conversation? :) ..................................................................................................................... May my stories refresh you, like a whisper from our Father's Heart !
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34 Responses to Hope Has Wings

  1. lolita says:

    Oh, Pam. How i have missed reading your posts and here I am thirsting.

    So wondrous are His messages displayed in the ordinary-easy-to -miss moments and yet lingers to make you catch it and get His message clear. IT is so blessed for God to let His truth known.

    And I do blelieve anything breathe out to His altar of grace for the good cause for others, will never be in vain in God. Your heart so shines for your love connections with His grace and redemption.

    Please know that I think of you always.

    • I miss you, too Lolita! Happy to see you here tonight… glad this one blesses you. Yes, no prayer in vain. I’ve been thinking of you this week, especially as I posted an interview with Elizabeth Musser… Thank you for your words to encourage on this! And for your prayers. You are in mine…

      • lolita says:

        Thank you, Pam. I will cherish these words in my heart. “hope has wings and God sends early manifestatations of blessings” and I pray that we will always be attentive for them. Some may come unbidden or they may be less obvious in our expectations.

        Wishing you well always…

  2. Yes… when I see little evidences like that, it shows how He truly is ahead of us and behind us, surrounding us in His love and grace. Early manifestations, I like that. Blessings to you, too!

  3. Lynn Morrissey says:

    Pam, this is so rich and beautiful. Yes we can believe His promises and know that He answers prayer……sometimes immediately, and sometimes years and years later. I was just telling Him this last night on a near-evening walk when golden leaves fell before a smudged-grey sky. Each leaf, each promise falls in its own time. Promises don’t fail, but fall into our waiting arms. I LOVE what God showed you through the butterly. Butterflies are the most personal metaphor God uses in my life to confirm His promises. The most powerful was when my great-aunt died. She had literally received the Lord on her deathbed, and several months after her passing, visiting her gravesite, I wondered if she truly were saved and voiced this doubt to God. Just then (I KID YOU NOT!) a beam of sunshine broke through November clouds and beamed straight down on her gravestone. And right, there in the middle of death and winter, a beautiful buttefly rested right in the middle of Aunt Mart’s gravestone. There were 18 stones in a row, but it had landed on *hers*! And where on earth did it come from? Butterflies don’t come in the winter! I know God was speaking to me. I know Aunt Martha is in heaven with Him! Thank you for your beautiful writing, encouring us to keep our eyes and ears open. Surely, God is speaking to us all the tme. But we have to pay attention to know it!

    • Lynn, thank you for sharing that incredibly beautiful story with me! A friend of mine had a similar gift of butterflies at her sister’s funeral…very moving.

      I have been feeling the same way as you about your great-aunt… not sure if his receiving the Lord came in those last days. But God keeps showing me such beautiful amens in all the stories such as yours that are coming my way. Last night a friend shared a beautiful one with me too long to go into here – but basically how a young man who seemed to be an atheist discovered God was making Himself known to him… in the last days of his very young life. All of these stories minister so much to me and leave me teary eyed. It reminds me of something else I heard on a Christian program recently… how the Lord spoke encouraging truths to someone that show how God will move heaven and earth to bring those to himself who we lift them up to Him… His name over them cannot fail and there is no one he cannot / will not reach in our prayers. I love God’s beautiful ways of speaking into our lives through His word in action. Thank you! Yes… that moment with the butterfly for me was something that just stood out to me and made me ponder every time I thought of it… and then when looking at it in retrospect, it spoke so much more than I could have known. I love what you said: Promises don’t fail, but fall into our waiting arms.

      • Lynn Morrissey says:

        Oh Pam! God is so good to keep giving you these evidences! Truly He is speaking. What I loved about your post is the hope you gave each of us and how you pointed us to ways in which God is speaking every moment of our lives. Oh that I may continue to have ears to hear and eyes to see! Thank you!!

  4. Pam-
    What more can one say~~~ Yes HOPE is the word that carries us on toward HIS next words, bringing us ASSURANCE, PEACE, and above all~~ LOVE. It seems we spend so much time doing a Push/Pull sort of dance with God- “Okay God, Here I give you this Heartache I have-its yours to take care of!” We feel better-until we allow that “Human” doubt to crawl in amongst our deep abiding LOVE for God~~ and I believe HE stands silently to the side~~ waiting for us to again
    reach out for HIS hand and TRUST.

    Perhaps it takes a lifetime of the Push/Pull for some–but what blessed assurance we have in knowing HIS LOVE is here-always beside us. I also believe HE sends us some of the most unexpected messages~~ If we are really watching, and allow the Message to sink into our hearts-
    what a miracle of feeling such LOVE…

    There are some heartaches that HE knows will always be resting in our hearts~~ but in the darkest times of despair, HE will always show us the way. We just need to “Be Still and Trust!”

    Thank you for sharing this beautiful message Pam… God bless you!! martha

    • Martha, your words remind me of another wondrously beautiful thing i heard someone say the other day. They were sharing how God has been showing them that there are so many “unclaimed” blessings in heaven that he longs to pour out… but sometimes just when we are about to receive them, it’s like we unknowingly push them way with doubts we express in words (because our words hold his power in them, for life and also for death) . That’s an amazing thought. And he shared how God wants us to lift our hands to him with our doubts and say, Lord, I receive your blessings, take my doubts. That really spoke to me. It is so easy for me to think things are just looking bleak… and giving credence to those thoughts with my words. Instead of turning them to him and determining to speak hope and trust and waiting expectantly for the blessings the word says he wants to give us in life… healing in so many ways we may not even imagine. I want to live with my hands open to his blessings like the psalmist did…so that he can also flow blessings through me to others as He leads too… Thank you for sharing these thoughts, Martha!

  5. God is so faithful, isn’t He? Oh, I’m so grateful for His gift to you that day and the many others before and since, to remind you of His promise.

    This particularly struck me: “I’m not one who is looking around for signs in place of Him.”

    And it’s true. I see your heart for Him in your words. HE sees your heart.

    Standing with you in prayer, this day, friend.

    • Yes, He really is! I am teary so much these days as He keeps bringing confirmations to me in so many ways. And yes, I always want to make sure I’m not looking at signs for the sake of signs, but that they also match His word. Thank you so much for your encouraging words and for standing in prayer! Your post really spoke to me too!!

  6. eil1een says:

    This is beautiful, Pam! I love how much God loves to answer us when we desire to see more of His beauty. You last little bit about God never letting go reminded me of a song I heard and love as I drove home from town today. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1jHrbXEcee8. Thank, Pam.

    • Oh my… so beautiful! Another word to me today that tears my eyes with His love! Thank you so much for sharing that, Eileen. This old computer doesn’t have sound, so I’m going to go out and listen to that one. But the lyrics (and the rainbow photo) hit home to my heart (the word He keeps pressing on me, He never lets go)… I’m just so blown away each day by all these confirming words from His hand. Thank you for your words here and on your blog!

  7. Thank you again, Lynn… I loved your words…”What I loved about your post is the hope you gave each of us and how you pointed us to ways in which God is speaking every moment of our lives. ” I’m so glad the heart of this post came across and struck you in this piece. It’s something I want to encourage in us all, especially anyone who may be feeling like they just can’t hear Him… or wondering if He really sees them in their life.

  8. r.elliott says:

    This is just beautiful…full of hope. And yes…I get this…I want to see God everywhere…not signs to have signs…but signs so I can see and hear God….this makes me think of the hymn…This is my Father’s world…He speaks to us everywhere….through nature….through butterflies. blessings to you~

    • Thank you! Yes, that is exactly it. 🙂 Love that hymn and your reference too. I’m so grateful that God knows every word in our thoughts and is there ahead of us (Psalm 139)… Thanks for sharing your thoughts too. Blessings to you too!

  9. It never ceases to amaze me the measure He goes to in which to assure us of hope and His unconditional promise of love and relationship. Grateful to be witness to a piece of your heart tonight.

    • I know – It IS so amazing how God will do that for us each… and in the midst of some other things that “aren’t making a lot of sense to me right now,” I keep reminding myself how He is speaking into this, and it lifts me to hope in all things. Thanks for sharing this “piece of my heart.” 🙂

  10. Hope always has wings. Oh I am so glad that we do not actually know what is in the heart of those we think are not yet saved. Their apparant hardness may be a cover up where they secretly love and worship our Lord, but wouldn’t tell you if their life depended on it. I have known at least one or two who were like that. Thank you for reminding us about Hope at Tell me a Story.

    • Yes, I love that Hazel. We just can’t say that about anyone because we don’t know what is going on in their hearts… and how someone somewhere may be praying. I am just overwhelmed too by how much God loves us that he puts prayer for someone in another’s heart…because He is longing to reach them. What stories we will rejoice in when we get to heaven! Thank you!

  11. Pam I delight in your hope beyond hope, clinging to all the ways He promises. Right with you. I have a burning prayer of the heart that you just rekindled with this post. I felt hope dim but your words minister to me in a mighty way. He used your pen to bless me this day, and I am grateful.

    Hoping, believing, trusting, waiting patiently with you.

    • Thank you so much for sharing that, Elizabeth. I am believing with you too! Yes, don’t ever give up! I’ve seen glimpses along the way of how the Lord was moving, and He is so tenderly showing me now that he was more than I know. I’m SO grateful to know this blessed you this way. It’s what I hoped most of all with this post. Thank you for your encouraging words!

  12. Ann says:

    Sweet and beautiful words! For all and especially for those who HAVE struggled with a prodigal child, our prayers are all heard and counted!! God is good!
    In His Lo ♥e, Ann @ Christ in the Clouds

  13. Charlotte says:

    Thank you for sharing these beautiful thoughts. Another testimony to the faithfulness of God.

  14. Diane says:

    Hope has wings…I love it Pam. Blessed assurance has come to you. Hallelujah!
    Your faithfulness, your heart, how could your Father not respond to that?! Oh, how He delights you, Pamela! I’m so very happy for you! Love to you, my friend.

    • Thank you, Diane… Yes, in a prayer of a lifetime, there is nothing like seeing how He moves. It is humbling to think how He moved that prayer in me in the first place. And the hope He puts in my heart now is a wondrous gift too. I know He is always showing us these things in all our moments… not just me… and I want to have ears to hear. Thank you for these words! And be encouraged about the prodigal in your prayers, too, Diane…because I think God is showing us He will never let them go no matter how things may look… remembering the word to stand on (you and your household)… May that hope give “butterfly wings” to your heart too..

  15. jerralea says:

    Thank you for this post! I do believe He will move heaven and earth to bring our prodigals to Him. I feel hope even stronger after reading this. God bless you and may He continue to give you evidence of your prayer answered.

    • Thank you so much! That makes my day. I am so glad this increased your hope! I just think back on all the words of hope the Lord showed me over the years of praying for this one and I just have to believe. I’d still like to receive something that totally assures (like someone who knows, sharing with me) but He is so faithful to assuring my heart in all the ways I shared here. Such a gift He gives us. I’m believing with you too!

  16. dukeslee says:

    Hi Pam… I read through that list of bullet-points, all of them pointing to the faithfulness of God in your life. He cherishes you. And I pray that you continue to feel that, to hear from Him, to know that God is very close, and that He is holding you. You are so dear, Pam. Sending love and prayers right now…

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