Music Shimmers

Joining with today, writing simply for five minutes on her one word prompt…VOICE…  

Sometimes, right when they happen, you just knowthis is a moment I’ll always remember…

We’d been driving for hours that day, and Mom… in the beginning stages of an illness that was robbing bits of her cognitive abilities, stealing her elegant vocabulary…had been sleeping deeply in the front passenger seat for the last many miles.  Every time I saw her, it saddened me to see a little more slipping away.  Now, on our way to celebrate Dad’s and Mom’s 50th Anniversary in concert at a long-beloved entertainer’s theater, I’d slipped in a CD of his music for the road.

Dad pulled into a gas station, my sister got out to stretch her legs, and I sat in back, breathing in the beauty of an especially tender song…  Softly, I Will Leave You…  Tears welled as his oh so poignant rendition flowed over me.

Just then, Mom roused as if someone had called her, bid her to wake instantaneously without momentary confusion, to hear singing like the most beauteous of heartstring violins…

“OHHHHH….. Ohhhhh,” she breathed with childlike awe of one in a majestic cathedral, seeing beauty for the very first time, searching for words.  And turning to me with shimmer in eyes, meltingly finished… “that VOICE!”

My own eyes swimming then, I leaned forward, took her hand.

“I know, Mom,” I choked softly, “isn’t it beautiful?”

She looked heavenward, rapture written in her own voice, almost palpable on the very air. Soaking in with heart and soul to the last fading note.

That was to be the last time we could take her to actually hear that music in live theater, for eventually she could not stop herself from lustily singing out from her seat with the entertainer on stage.  But I remember her delight sitting there that celebratory night, holding my dad’s hand, laughing at the fun jokes, sighing at the oh so lovely music… the night he even sang one of her favorites from Madame Butterfly in tandem with a woman singer of great voice…

I’m ever amazed at how music can reach minds that can no longer receive much else… and remember with joy too how into the coming years of battling this illness, it was always the lilt of a song, the start of a glorious musical on TV or a DVD of an old favorite star that could make her sit up and exclaim…  and even sing every word along…. cherished memories of her lifetime love of music never diminished.  And for one fleeting moment, I could see it all there on her face…she was experiencing again her days in orchestra strings, her childhood voraciously spent at every movie musical, how she always made us stop and listen to every gorgeous or lilting song…

Even now, writing this… I can hear her voice that day in the car…  and my eyes shimmer here, again.


©  Pam Depoyan


Also sharing with: Tell Me a Story  

With: Multitudes on Monday counting blessings with this blogging community, thankful for grace-full days of colors and fresh bread baking and soup simmering and assurance He is holding us all.



About Pam@Writing...Apples of Gold

I love to hear your thoughts, even chat back and forth amongst comments.Won't you join the conversation? :) ..................................................................................................................... May my stories refresh you, like a whisper from our Father's Heart !
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34 Responses to Music Shimmers

  1. kel rohlf says:

    beautiful glimpse of your mother…and amazing the power of music and song…a song stays with us forever…how true!

  2. My eyes shimmer too! So powerful! Music is such a tool and a gift! Thanks for posting!

  3. We never know how “Full” God’s basket is of delightful memories such as this one you have blessed us with Pam. A moment comes along and out of our past~~up pops a song, memory, words~~from our loved ones who are now gone and the blessing of memories like these hit our hearts with a WHAM of love, as we ache from missing them so very much. At these moments, we find deep comfort-and God smiles!

    You have been given a special gift Pam-the ability to take a simple memory of lyrics from a song~and take the love that pours from your heart as you spill it out over the words you write.

    Please keep writing Pam-maybe the first DOOR that opens will be a small one-but grab hold of it and keep writing! If nothing else, WRITE FOR YOU!!! I do this with my blog about Pain-its amazing how I can sit here, with Pain raging through my body and as God helps the words flow out of me, I begin to feel a little comfort. In the world of Chronic Pain~~ a little bit of Comfort can take us a long way, and help us when Pain hits again, and again!!

    (((Blessings to you dear Pam))) martha

    • Martha, thank you for your ever encouraging words about my writing. Actually, I have had a little door open recently but haven’t shared here yet… But I just got the final word that is definite, so I guess I can say it now. I sold a story to Chicken Soup for the Soul in a book they plan to publish in the first month or so of the new year. Exciting to think of it in an anthology… 🙂 But even if nothing sold… here on the blog if even one person is touched, then I guess the writing is worth it…

      Yes, the minute I saw this Friday word prompt, this memory was the immediate one that came to mind… You are right about the ache of love, but I’m glad to know my mom is more joyous than we know, there in heaven. I know what you mean about comfort going a long way. May comfort snuggle around you today… Blessings to you too!

  4. Lynn Morrissey says:

    As I’ve told you before, Pam, you are a shimmering wordsinger (using your word, coupled with mine)! Your liquid voice melts across every blog page. This is an exceptional post. To think that “that voice” resounded in such a way as to bring recognition and rejoicing to your mother. My father died five years ago, and one of the things that I miss most is Daddy’s voice. He had a basso profundo voice, and could have sung opera had he had lessons; but his family coudnl’t afford them. He broke his neck during a fall at a rehab center the night before he was to have come home to us. Mercifully, he was not paralyzed, but this injury began the long odyssey of his demise. Besides the love of Jesus and his family, what got him through was a song. He always had a song on his lips, even when they were parched or when he was practically starving. Somehow, he managed to sing a song, even though his voice was terribly weakened. Two of his favorites in the hospital were “Nobody Knows the Trouble I’ve Seen” (nobody knows but Jesus!), and “His Eye is on the Sparrow.” And now God’s eye is still on him with the sparrow’s in his heavenly home (Ps. 84). Bless you for this reminder of the meaning of music and voice.

    • I wrote this pretty fast so I can see some wording to be improved…but I tried to capture it. Thank you so much, Lynn. My mom’s dad had an operatic voice too and she grew up loving his singing… he never had training or was able to use it either. I remember him bursting into song at our table even in his 80’s… and hearing him sing at a relative’s wedding. And he had an extraordinary song quality to his whistling that I always remember too. 🙂 Thanks for sharing about your dad… that’s a beautiful and touching story. Yes, God’s eye is on him and his are on God’s now! Music… oh what would we do without it!

  5. lolita says:

    And it shimmers here too, Pam.
    Thank you for sharing the musically-rich childhood you had. For having been influenced by your Mom, whom I guess, you took your gift of words and music.

    Yes, so very true, how our life is scored by music at every turn. How when a favorite song or a familiar tune could send us back to the very experience and feelings we had when such song was a favorite. Even sights and smells come back alive all over again.

    Those beautiful memories and experiences when life and love was new, when youth was for eternity, when dreams were reachable…… they can serve us a whole positive outlook for days they are needed, even in just a recollection. They may top the bad or the negative.

    I love the voice coming from here, Pam….. the music, the smell, the laughter, the colors, the poignancy and all……. even the celebration of the ordinary.


    • Beautiful words from you here, as usual, Lolita. Thank you so much for all those lovely reflections. I don’t know of any musical talent I have specifically… never having learned anything. But it’s nice to know you hear “music” in my writing… This was sort of a bittersweet memory, but tender and poignant too. Thank you for all your uplifting words… and I think of my mom as young again now 🙂

  6. MaryLou says:

    I think of my pop more than my mom when I think of music because he loved to play piano and also sing. What was truly special was after he left us my mom & I found a tape of him singing some of his favorite hymns. Unfortunately we do not know when he made this tape or why. Every time I listen to it I want to hear more like him talking to us letting us know when he taped the music and why. I am so glad that I can still hear his voice as I listen to this treasure that he left us. I also cannot imagine my life without music. 🙂

  7. joy says:

    THis is beautiful, And yes, I work with the elderly and although they are suffering dementia, they remember the songs that they sung before lost of memory. Really touching!

  8. sharon bangle says:

    Mmmmmmm Such a sweet story about you & your mom. I can just picture her…….And you too. So glad you have those memories. God bless you today. Love, Sharon
    PS Isn’t it intriguing how God made music affect our brain. We’ll have to talk about it.

  9. Sylvia R says:

    Poignantly lovely piece. This is truly a heartbreaking thing. But then there is that about music, how it “can reach minds that can no longer receive much else.” Beautiful mystery of God. We all ought to sing more, maybe…

  10. Oh this touches my heart. My mother did not know me most of the time for several years. She thought I was a good friend. Her words were a jumble, but she could pray and sing. I loved your post about your sweet mother who could sing with the singers. Thank you for sharing at Tell me a Story.

    • Thank you for sharing that, Hazel. That must have been so hard for you. I pray your memories of her before that time comfort and give peace. My mom always knew us and that was truly a blessing. Even though most of her words were a jumble, she could still spontaneously say “I love you” and when it came to singing, she suddenly could sing along with those words… A gift. It was hard not to really be able to share hearts in conversation during those years though.. but memories like this one went deeper than conversation. Heaven seems closer somehow since she’s there. May that be a heartlift in the same way for your situation.

  11. Betty Draper says:

    Pam, you did capture your mother, I felt like I was in the car with you hearing that beautiful music and seeing the joy on your Mom’s face. Beautifully written, filled my eye with tears for my mother is in a fragil state in a nursing home in Illinois. I was suppose to fly today actually to spend a week with her but I am down with a nasty cold. Have reschudeled my trip. My mother loves to hear me sing so I am praying my voice will return enough to be able to sing for her. Great post…

    • Thank you so much, Betty. I pray Galatians 3:13,14 over you to be healthy and whole, no cold left, and your voice to return in full. I know your singing will bless you both. I’m sorry your mom is in a fragile state now… blessings on your trip when do go… I’m glad this story of my mom touched you.

  12. wolfsrosebud says:

    sweet how God gave you those moments

  13. ro elliott says:

    THis is just beautiful…wow…we take the simple things in life for granted…voice…what a sweet gift…thanks for sharing~

  14. Gayle says:

    Oh I can identify, my mother has dementia as well and we are saying this very slow goodbye with her. It is a fascinating thing what music can do. Really it touches our soul in a way nothing else can. Blessings to you, I’m glad you stopped by Behind the Gate!

  15. beautiful story – treasured and mesmerizing memory.

    music touches the heart in such an amazing way – and opens the soul, encouraging authenticity and transparency.

    lovely words today! very glad i popped in for a visit.

  16. Tracy says:

    Hi Pam, so glad you linked this post up with winsome wednesday. Loved it
    God bless

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