BE MINE, He wrote

I was… sixteen going on seventeen…     She was four, going on five…

A fidgety, wiggly, Shirley-curly, dark-headed imp who danced tiny toe enpointe circles around the dinner table while she nibbled, always having miles and miles to go, never acquiescing to settling down one moment sooner than necessary – even when urgency required.  “Just like two other once upon a time-little squigglers I knew,” Papa would always laugh, giving my mom and her sister the eye…  conjuring up nearly impossible-for-teens-to-imagine Kodak moments of what they must have been like as his little girls so long ago…

 “Stay with me till I fall asleep,” she pleaded, taking my hand and pulling me down to her makeshift-on-the-floor-bed in my room that afternoon when my aunt had given her a nap ultimatum.  Those months when they’d moved in with us for awhile, life somewhat topsy turvy…

“Okay, close your eyes,” I instructed gently, firmly…smiling as she obeyed, still holding my fingers.

Leaning on my side, head into elbow, I watched her breathing peter like a wind slowing to a gentle breeze, despite her tuckered self   Watched the waves of little frowns chasing across her forehead, up and down, here and there, like clouds playing tag overhead on a summery day.

How I loved the curve of her slightly flushed cheek, her velvety long eyelashes fluttering soft as watercolor brushes painting roses while she dreamed.  I loved her delicately upturned nose, so perfectly shaped… How even though people often remarked we looked alike, I wished I had inherited that feature!   In my mind I traced it, as if to draw on paper… Oh-so wispily, I brushed a natural curl away from her slightly open mouth… How I could stay and relish that sweet face her entire nap if it weren’t for homework calling…

And today… on this snowy three-days-before Valentine’s afternoon… a thought warms over me, soft and feathery dear as this memory…

That maybe… this is how our Father feels… close beside us, watching the curve of our cheek, the sweep of our curls on our pillows, taking delight in hearts dancing or sleeping….  In being near to children of His heart…. in calling us to words He wrote across hundreds of pages… Be Mine…  

Just wanting to be close…Love unending…

Sometimes… it’s hard to imagine the vastness, yet intimacy, of His love in that way.  That He is bending over us, watching us with pleasure of parent in dearly beloved child… dreaming of His hopes for us… longing for the touch of our fingers in His…

And as these thoughts are like stars He is placing in my eyes… other memories of her in those days skip rope across me, like a reel of old slide photos on my wall…

I remember moments…

Of opening my eyes to her whispery breath on my face, 6 am., nose to nose as she knelt beside my pillow, calling… Pam..el..a…Are you awake?   And trying to fool her into letting me sleep just a little bit longer…

Of Saturday evenings when we gathered around the set watching Andy Williams and Carol Burnett, Mary Tyler Moore and Bob Newhart – and she took her beauty parlor post on top of the couch back, my dad in front of her while she cajoled him into letting her roll his hair in curlers…

Of smeary made from scratch chocolate cake painted all over her face, along with a this-is-ambrosia look of wonder…

Of watching her with her sister, rocking and twisting out to our old record player…

Of how she made me giggle…

Into these,  I feel His smile broadening over me too…

And I think of Valentines I’d send if I could…

To little girls of long ago…

With miles to go before they sleep…

And of those He daily sends

to little ones we once were, now are and are to be…

And of one on my lips and in my heart… 

“Stay with me,” I echo to Him now.

© Pam Depoyan


Has He left a nugget of  “BE MINE” chocolate on your doorstep today?

. Have you seen my new pen & ink portraits page?  Read A God-Sized Dream Grand Opening…And a Giveaway! and enter a comment by the end of February 15th to win one free print of my home illustrations!

Sharing with:  A Holy Experience 

Tell Me a Story   

     Beauty in His Grip Button

(for the word, Beloved)

.Imperfect Prose  at Emily Wierenga’s place


About Pam@Writing...Apples of Gold

I love to hear your thoughts, even chat back and forth amongst comments.Won't you join the conversation? :) ..................................................................................................................... May my stories refresh you, like a whisper from our Father's Heart !
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18 Responses to BE MINE, He wrote

  1. What a beautiful picture of God’s love. Snuggled up, and handing me a chocolate. Oh that is so cool.

  2. Beautiful, sweet – chocolate on faces, hearts winding down to sleep – oh, Be Mine! Your post was a heart treat!

  3. dear Pam-
    first let me THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart for the most beautiful Card that God guided you to fill with your prayerful words for me!! I carry it around with me-afraid to let it out of my view
    and your words arrived at a time I truly am needing them. The Pain level in my body seems to have taken a mind of its own and lets just say nothing is easy~~I can’t find the energy to even think about Valentines~~as I try to recall those long ago days of being a young girl and so excited when I would get a beautiful from a friend.

    So Pam Your Prayers for me-what more could anyone need for Valentines?? Of course I will be giving my husband a Valentines gift–but please know this–today I asked him to take a few minutes out so I could share something with him! I read your Card to him–word for word and he was silent at the end–but finally said “That is one special person to not have ever met you or seen you-but cares so much to send this Card to you. I agree!! Just know your caring words are helping me
    through these rough days. God has filled your heart with words Pam that will never fall on ears that are closed,or hearts not willing to listen. You sent me HIS LOVE!!

    God bless you my friend. martha

    • Martha, I’m so grateful for how God can take our simple words and anoint them with His heart and by His spirit… thank you for letting me know that He is using them to touch you this way. It means a lot to know that. He reminded me of those prayers I’d written down in a time of prayer and kept putting them on my heart for you. “Valentines” for any and every time of year. I continue to lift you up into His wings of healing. May His promises blanket you today…

  4. Mia says:

    Hi Pam
    Visiting from Playdates and I loved the innocence of childlikeness you have captured in your post!
    Yes, He rejoices over us with singing, and that makes me glad!
    Much love

  5. lolita says:

    Hummmnnnn….. thank you for reminding me, Pam, that my one and only perfect Valentine gift comes from Him, no amount of roses or chocolates could much that one.

    My wish for you too, from our Valentine Father, and His son Jesus’ love everlasting and joy abounding. Continue to love and think of others even as you remember those beautiful moments days you treasure as a child.


    The lilt of this post so affects me.

  6. You have painted such a lovely picture of watching over a sleeping child and how God must also enjoy our childlikeness whether in sleep or in play. He probably laughs at our attempts of dancing and our exhibits of joy and happiness. Thank you for sharing at “Tell Me a Story.”

  7. laura says:

    This is such a sweet telling, Pam. I could feel your love dripping from each line. The gently way you share did make me feel cherished in God’s love. Happy Valentine’s Day, Beloved.

  8. Pam, so beautiful, tender, deliciously sweet. What a beautiful picture you paint with words of our Father’s love for us. Your memories are wrapped in strongly woven words of your heart. Thank you sweet one for sharing your treasure.

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