Light in My Heart

A Light in the Window: The Mitford Years #2   -             By: Jan Karon    “What are you celebrating?” 

“Being alive.”

“You were that sick?”

“It has nothing to do with being sick.  We breathe…  we run around…go to the store…dig up the tulip bulbs…make soup…pay the electric bill, and we never stop to think – we’re alive! This is a gift! 

“I wasn’t even pondering this.  I wasn’t being poetic or introspective. It’s just that I glanced at the floor – right there – this afternoon and saw how the light came through the window and fell on the wood.  It bowled me over.  It took my breath away.  I could hardly bear it.”

He was silent, looking at her.

“There was so much life in the light on the wood, the way it folded itself gently into the grain.  That little spot on the floor just radiated with tenderness.  And then it was gone.

“Do you know?” she asked softly.

“I know,” he said.

“Not everyone knows,” she said.

“Yes.”

Jan Karon, A Light in the Window

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Do you know?

Yes…I know, too, I whisper.   Sitting in my home today, it seems…as I look for it…I find His tender prints of wonder everywhere.

I hear his gentle laughter in the chimes playing with the snowflake breeze out on my porch. “Their music reminds me of angel songs,” the clerk told me when she sold them to me last spring.  “Me, too,” I think.  And of ship bells in a harbor… church chimes in a tower… and  hour bells counting out time on an old fashioned mantel clock…

My heart catches as I walk into my little cottage kitchen* just in time to see momentary sun send gleaming light skittering across the white subway tiles…   O how I love the clean, bright feeling of this room with its four glass-front cabinets… blue, white and green accents…warm hickory floor.  The white bead board and molding design I talked the contractor into creating halfway up the walls…  And I remember Ms. Karon’s words that could have been written just…for… me…in this moment – That little spot on the floor just radiated with tenderness...

Then, gazing out my front room windows in the teasing, soul-fleeting sun, I find shadows of tree branches gracefully silhouetted there on the siding canvas of neighboring homes… like a signature  on the Artist’s paintings.  And light rimming and etching the edges of tree trunks bending across the way… making me draw their lovely patterns in my mind, as if on paper…

And later… as snow comes softly to my neighborhood once more… it reminds me of manna, dropping from heaven and into my heart, a breath of promise…

That

He has all my needs taken care of…even, especially, when I can’t see.  Day by day, He is holding me in His gracious hand of favor… encouraging me to blow my worries and fears and doubts about here and now, the future, into the breeze.  Like blowing on a thistle, and watching all that — fluff — disappear.  Putting my hand in His and feeling his warm assurance falling on my upturned face…

“Do you really know?”  He asks, tenderly.  

Tears star my eyes.  It’s so hard.  This not knowing what or when or how.  But I feel His smile, hear his words inside me.

“Yes,” I answer.

“Not everyone does.”

“Yes.”  I think I feel His sadness, sharp and deep.

 “Will you share it?”

Yes!” I promise, as He lights my heart with…joy.

.

© Pam Depoyan

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Just so you know… my real kitchen is nowhere near as beauteous as these photos, though I think for it’s size, limited budget…maybe, I’ve created a bit of this ambiance… Still, a girl can dream… 🙂

Have you found some wonder today? 

Will you share it? 🙂

.

                          I’m linking this post with with Bonnie at Faith Barista, answering                     “Share your thoughts on the One Word: Joy”

and many months later, now summer, I’m linking to Playdates with God, for a little refreshing from July heat…and because this is one of my favorite moments with Him 🙂

and Imperfect Prose  at Emily Wierenga’s place

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About Pam@Writing...Apples of Gold

I love to hear your thoughts, even chat back and forth amongst comments.Won't you join the conversation? :) ..................................................................................................................... May my stories refresh you, like a whisper from our Father's Heart !
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11 Responses to Light in My Heart

  1. Diane says:

    Do I know another adjective besides “beautiful”? What a stunning piece! Your heart is so special Pam, so full of Light and Freedom! Reading your post is my wonder today! Thank you, dear friend.

  2. Thank you, Diane. I think today has been an up and down day… worrying about all the unknowns…and then giving it back to Him… Then “hearing” His whisper and encouragement to me as I started writing… Standing on His promises as I know you do, too… These words came as an answer to some prayers today, so I thank Him 🙂

  3. At my work place, my department has been subjected to so much questions, perhaps because Accounting Department is on expense center of a company but one that is necessary. We have a low collection rate lately and the owner vented his frustrations on us….. me especially being the head. He finds little details at fault and this made me feel down that one night I could not sleep even a bit just thinking about it.

    I spent that night into dawn in prayers …… for humility, gentleness, understanding plus blessing over our company and the people depending on it.

    Just this morning, I read my devotional and it did lead me to Phil. 2:14-16. Isn’t this perfect light for my heart and soul? It quieted my spirit and I know I am in GOOD HANDS. Yes I know! I will hold firmly to the word of life……. it makes us shine like stars. “No grumbling, no arguing would come out of His children’s mouths…….. only peace and joy.” Then my little book of encouragement pointed me to 1 John 4:18…… “Perfect love drives out fear.” For I feared of our company going down and me loosing a job. The author wrote: “When I truly understand how much God loves me, fear leaves my heart like darkness when the sun rises.”

    How can I not see that little spot on the floor or on the wall and the tenderness it radiates if I do not know? Yes, I know, yes, yes.

    And I could praise and thank God for little things like fresh air to breathe, sustenance and protection and this day that He has made!!!!!!!

    ~ ~ ~ Thank you, Pam….. for this delightful read…. the beautiful way it is told and the feather touches in my heart. Love this so much I could flash a smile up towards heave and among my co-workers today. (Pardon the lengthy charade, dear.)

  4. Lolita, you can go on as long as you like 🙂 Thank you for sharing so much. Spending the night into dawn in prayer for your work… that’s wonderful. life-changing for your company. Yes, God’s word quiets our souls in the midst of such stress… I love the verse in Daniel 12:3 too, about shining like stars. We used that in my mom’s funeral, because it was so true of her! And I see them shining in your comments… 🙂 So glad my words “feather-touch” your heart!

  5. Diane says:

    Lolita, you have no idea what a treausre you are to the owners of your company, if even they are unaware of it. My husband is a business owner and there is one man in his company who has stopped and prayed with Joe for various things going on. It blesses Joe tremendously and gives him strength knowing someone is praying for him and the business (besides me). God hears your prayers and it will avail much!!!

  6. Katie says:

    “Do you really know?” He asks, tenderly. — so often I know God has said these words deep to my heart. In a life filled with uncertainty and trials, I needed this reminder. Thank you for sharing.

  7. I know what you mean, Katie… my own life has seemed that way a lot this past year. I pray the blessing of Numbers 6 over us all. His gracious hand of favor is on you, too… 🙂 Thank you for sharing here too…

  8. Sandee says:

    Pam, thank you so much for the wonderful blessing you left on my blog post for today – what a special gift! I was even more blessed when I read your own beautiful post here and am so happy to have connected with another sister in Christ. 🙂

  9. O, Sandee, you are welcome! Thanks for your kind words here… I’m happy to have connected with you too 🙂

  10. I love those little moments when you see or hear Him. I love your KITCHEN! 🙂

    • I love them too. That’s not my kitchen… wish it were! 🙂 But these were just some photos that give a look that I’ve tried for, and mine has white cabinets, wood floor etc like these are, with touches of blue and white in decor… I didn’t have a digital camera when I wrote this and couldn’t use my own. Thanks Brandee!

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