Humming to myself, I slid into the driver’s seat.
It only took one glance at my bare fingers on the wheel to leap heart into throat.
THE RING WAS GONE. Mom’s engagement ring!
I hadn’t taken it off. I always remember rare times when I do and where I put it. My mind, an instant ticker tape, raced through my morning, discarding all the possibilities. Washing my hands… restroom…
I turned off the ignition, ran back inside. OH..God…OH…God… don’t let me have – I didn’t want to even imagine – drains or grinding disposals or… flushing.
Stop. Breathe. Think.
What could I have done? Hurriedly, I stripped my bed, checked, checked, checked again.
Lord, help me think.
The ring was a little looser lately, but not enough to just fall off. I know it wasn’t.
I remembered looking at it on my hand last evening. But was it there when I went to bed?
I thought I could remember snagging my hand on something earlier last night… but, what, when, where?
I’d also run to the store yesterday… had I lost it there? NO. It has to be here.
I found my flashlight… searched all around the bed, dresser, underneath…
I’d been doing so much house cleaning yesterday. What if it had slipped off into the trash?
Cringing, I checked… nothing.
Like wings fluttering against my whirling mind, I could sense Him speaking — quiet. Remember…I’m with you.
Pictures of times I’d lost important things before came to mind… my contact lens popping out and nowhere to be found. The heart pounding search… fear of moving too far and… step-crunching it…
Until I prayed, looked down, found it amazingly there at my feet.
Or another time, in a hotel room where my sister’s lens did the same thing. The carpet was an ugly forest green, extremely patterned in florals and geometric designs… Worse than looking for a needle in a…you know. Yet, nearly a breath after prayer and I’d caught the gleam of it. Right there… at her feet.
OH…but this ring. Worth so much in value sentimental and otherwise. My sister and dad would be even more crushed.
Lord, it’s not that I’m so into things… I prayed fast and furious. You know I’m not. But you know what this means. Put a thought in me of where to look.
Many times He speaks into my thoughts… other times, pictures come to mind. I think that’s because I’m a visual person. Even as a kid, when taking a test, I could always picture the words of the answer in the study book, which side of the page it had been on… When finding my way on the road, I always go by landmarks…
With sudden vividness, I remembered folding towels last night. Maybe that was where I felt a snagging. Quickly, I undid each towel and shook them out. Nothing.
The washer…the dryer…?
Sit down. Give it to Me. You can’t hear Me above your pounding heart…
I sat. Closed my eyes. Thought of so many times lately when He’s shown me I could hear His voice when I listened.
The picture that popped into my head of that blouse I’d been hunting through the closet and wash for, fallen crumpled up on the closet floor. And when I looked again — so, it was.
The just happening to be in the store looking for new black pants on the very morning they put their entire new inventory on sale, with an added coupon off just for trying them on… when I’d been planning to go days earlier but “distractions” kept keeping me from getting there.
The out of the blue remembering to call our library to order a newly British-published book I have been waiting months for here – and finding out it had just been slipped onto their shelves early, at that very branch. (Most unusual! Just a treat that didn’t even need the added wait from a faraway library!)
How it made me know Him so near, to recognize Him putting thoughts in me to lead, even when I didn’t ask …and how crisis clatters its own din.
Now, sitting with eyes closed, I turned my heart to slowing down the OH NO drum drumming away, and just… praise. Quieting myself with words of gratefulness for His ever present help. For calm trust He’s been giving me in the midst of much more concerning things than…this. For knowing that one who keeps His eye on the sparrow and her nest, certainly cares about all this ring represents. Leaning into knowing…and trusting…He has everything in control. Standing on promises He has been making so real in my every day.
A sudden peace whispered over me like the ripple of fingers over keys, pianissimo. I relaxed. Thought wonderingly how it felt more like someone or something relaxing me than my own effort.
Show me, Lord. I know nothing is impossible for you. Even if it went down the… (gulp)… drain. You could just put it here in front of me.
Again, I was thinking of the towels. How I’d folded them right here on this chair. Could the ring have flung off and slipped under the chair or ottoman?
Sitting forward to get up, I glanced down at my feet.
It took a second to realize what it was I saw. There… barely one inch outside from being underneath the ottoman…a circle of gold.
Once again… at my feet.
OH…MY…GOSH. Barely above a whisper, I said with awe, You did it, Father!
I think maybe… I had thought…this time it was…too hard. (Sheepishly)
It only takes faith the size of a mustard seed…(Gently)
Yes, O Lord…contact lens…or diamonds… A fearful word, a need for wisdom… Nothing, nothing is outside Your hand.
All I could do was sit there and thank Him over and again…
For getting through to my racing mind.
Putting me right there in front of it… just as I’d asked.
Thinking about me and steadfastly showing me again… how He cares for the smallest details of our lives… and turns them into God-incidences…
A conversation I’d heard between a writer and a minister last night, flooded back. She’d been talking about her new book… a subject that’s been on my own heart to blog about lately. How sometimes we feel so…lost…invisible…unimportant…not noticed…average…
Wondering if God even sees us.
And how… in moments like these… He says it so softly, but so powerfully… To me. To you.
I more than see you.
I know you.
I care about every detail of what you are going through.
Like Mary, pondering and treasuring in her heart, I want to press these proofs of Holy Spirit whispers close… mark them… to take out and hold up to the next fright-driven or worrisome or doubting moment. Step into the calm assurance a little bit sooner with my shield of faith, Ephesians 6 heavenly armor, made to specification for us each.
His parable words remind me…He even wrote a similar story in his Book…
“Or imagine a woman who has ten coins and loses one.
Won’t she light a lamp and scour the house, looking in every nook
and cranny until she finds it?
And when she finds it you can be sure she’ll call her friends and neighbors:
‘Celebrate with me! I found my lost coin!’
Count on it—that’s the kind of party God’s angels throw
every time one lost soul turns to God.”
~ Luke 15: 8-10 (Message)
© Pam Depoyan
Has the panic button gone off in your life this week?
How has His peace reigned?