Pianissimo – When All Else is Panic

Humming to myself, I slid into the driver’s seat.

It only took one glance at my bare fingers on the wheel to leap heart into throat.

THE RING WAS GONE.  Mom’s engagement ring!

I hadn’t taken it off.  I always remember rare times when I do and where I put it. My mind, an instant ticker tape, raced through my morning, discarding all the possibilities. Washing my hands… restroom

OH.NO..OH NO..OH..NO.

I turned off the ignition, ran back inside.  OH..God…OH…God… don’t let me have – I didn’t want to even imagine – drains or grinding disposals or… flushing.

Stop. Breathe. Think.

What could I have done?  Hurriedly, I stripped my bed, checked, checked, checked again.

OH..NO…

Lord, help me think.

The ring was a little looser lately, but not enough to just fall off.  I know it wasn’t.

I remembered looking at it on my hand last evening.  But was it there when I               went to bed? 

I thought I could remember snagging my hand on something earlier last night…              but, what, when, where?

I’d also run to the store yesterday… had I lost it there?  NO.  It has to be here.

   I found my flashlight… searched all around the bed, dresser, underneath…

I’d been doing so much house cleaning yesterday.  What if it had slipped off into the trash?

Cringing, I checked… nothing.

Like wings fluttering against my whirling mind, I could sense Him speaking — quiet.  Remember…I’m with you.

Pictures of times I’d lost important things before came to mind… my contact lens popping out and nowhere to be found.  The heart pounding search… fear of moving too far and…     step-crunching it…

Until I prayed, looked down, found it amazingly there at my feet.

Or another time, in a hotel room where my sister’s lens did the same thing.  The carpet was an ugly forest green, extremely patterned in florals and geometric designs… Worse than looking for a needle in a…you know.  Yet, nearly a breath after prayer and I’d caught the gleam of it.  Right there… at her feet.

OH…but this ring.  Worth so much in value sentimental and otherwise.  My sister and dad would be even more crushed.

Lord, it’s not that I’m so into things… I prayed fast and furious.  You know I’m not.  But you know what this means.  Put a thought in me of where to look.

Many times He speaks into my thoughts… other times, pictures come to mind.  I think that’s because I’m a visual person.  Even as a kid, when taking a test, I could always picture the words of the answer in the study book, which side of the page it had been on…  When finding my way on the road, I always go by landmarks…

With sudden vividness, I remembered folding towels last night.  Maybe that was where I felt a snagging.  Quickly, I undid each towel and shook them out.  Nothing.

The washer…the dryer…?

Sit down.  Give it to Me.  You can’t hear Me above your pounding heart…

I sat.  Closed my eyes.  Thought of so many times lately when He’s shown me I could hear His voice when I listened.

The picture that popped into my head of that blouse I’d been hunting through the closet and wash for, fallen crumpled up on the closet floor.  And when I looked again — so, it was.

The just happening to be in the store looking for new black pants on the very morning they put their entire new inventory on sale, with an added coupon off just for trying them on… when I’d been planning to go days earlier but “distractions” kept keeping me from getting there.

The out of the blue remembering to call our library to order a newly British-published book I have been waiting months for here – and finding out it had just been slipped onto their shelves early, at that very branch. (Most unusual! Just a treat that didn’t even need the added wait from a faraway library!)

How it made me know Him so near, to recognize Him putting thoughts in me to lead, even when I didn’t ask …and how crisis clatters its own din.

Now, sitting with eyes closed, I turned my heart to slowing down the OH NO drum drumming away, and just… praise.  Quieting myself with words of gratefulness for His ever present help.  For calm trust He’s been giving me in the midst of much more concerning things than…this.  For knowing that one who keeps His eye on the sparrow and her nest, certainly cares about all this ring represents.  Leaning into knowing…and trusting…He has everything in control.  Standing on promises He has been making so real in my every day.

A sudden peace whispered over me like the ripple of fingers over keys, pianissimo.  I relaxed.  Thought wonderingly how it felt more like someone or something relaxing me than my own effort.

Show me, Lord.  I know nothing is impossible for you.  Even if it went down the… (gulp)… drain.  You could just put it here in front of me. 

Again, I was thinking of the towels.  How I’d folded them right here on this chair.  Could the ring have flung off and slipped under the chair or ottoman?

Sitting forward to get up, I glanced down at my feet.

It took a second to realize what it was I saw.  There… barely one inch outside from being underneath the ottoman…a circle of gold.

Once again… at my feet.

OH…MY…GOSH.  Barely above a whisper, I said with awe, You did it, Father!

 I think maybe… I had thought…this time it was…too hard. (Sheepishly)

It only takes faith the size of a mustard seed…(Gently)

Yes, O Lord…contact lens…or diamonds… A fearful word, a need for wisdom…  Nothing, nothing is outside Your hand.

All I could do was sit there and thank Him over and again…

For getting through to my racing mind.

Putting me right there in front of it… just as I’d asked.

Thinking about me and steadfastly showing me again… how He cares for the smallest details of our lives… and turns them into God-incidences

The God Who Sees You: Look to Him When You Feel Discouraged, Forgotten, or Invisible

A conversation I’d heard between a writer and a minister last night, flooded back.  She’d been talking about her new book… a subject that’s been on my own heart to blog about lately.  How sometimes we feel so…lost…invisible…unimportant…not noticed…average

Wondering if God even sees us.

And how… in moments like these… He says it so softly, but so powerfully…   To me. To you.

I more than see you. 

I know you. 

I care about every detail of what you are going through.

Like Mary, pondering and treasuring in her heart, I want to press these proofs of Holy Spirit whispers close… mark them… to take out and hold up to the next fright-driven or worrisome or doubting moment.  Step into the calm assurance a little bit sooner with my shield of faith, Ephesians 6 heavenly armor, made to specification for us each.

His parable words remind me…He  even wrote a similar story in his Book…

“Or imagine a woman who has ten coins and loses one.

        Won’t she light a lamp and scour the house, looking in every nook

         and cranny until she finds it?

And when she finds it you can be sure she’ll call her friends and neighbors:

‘Celebrate with me! I found my lost coin!’

Count on it—that’s the kind of party God’s angels throw

every time one lost soul turns to God.”

~ Luke 15: 8-10 (Message)

©   Pam Depoyan

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Has the panic button gone off in your life this week?

  How has His peace reigned?

.

Linking with:

Thought Provoking Thursday,

Thankful Thursday, God Bumps, Cheryl and the True Vine Challenge,

and Walk With Him Wednesday

      http://alwaysalleluia.com

photos:

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About Pam@Writing...Apples of Gold

I love to hear your thoughts, even chat back and forth amongst comments.Won't you join the conversation? :) ..................................................................................................................... May my stories refresh you, like a whisper from our Father's Heart !
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31 Responses to Pianissimo – When All Else is Panic

  1. lolitavalle says:

    I am so happy you found it where it is, not the drain or other scary places, which would mean difficult retrieval. I so thank the Lord that He showed it to you when the drum died down.

    The parallel in the scripture is so apt too. It reminds me also of the lost sheep. Jesus went about, leaving all the others in the closure, for the one wayward sheep and I could just imagine how happy He was when found. At one moment in time I was that one lost sheep and He found me. I pray for all those who are still out of the closure of Jesus enfolding redemptive love.

    I like the tempo of the post, Pam, even if it feels like Nancy Drew to me and for a time it was a scary situation, not to know where to look.

    How did the rest of the day go after that? Hmmmnnn……

    • Thank you, Lolita! Yes, I don’t even know how I’d ever know if it went down a drain. I thought of that scripture too…and the one about if he cares for the sparrow, how much more for us. So many beautiful truths for one point! I’m glad this tempo moved you along with that kind of suspense! 🙂 I was trying to write it the way I experienced it… going a little frantic! After all of that, I had a much better day, thanks!

  2. Kel Rohlf says:

    I love how God demonstrates his love in the most concrete ways! Celebrating with you that once was lost, now is found. I find that He allows me to go through those times of losing something, especially when my faith is wavering…Then He goes and reassures me with a test 🙂 Glad you slowed down and he placed the ring right at your feet…now I need to ask Him to show me where I set down my glasses…I have been looking all day 🙂

  3. MaryLou says:

    It didn’t happen this week and it wasn’t as expensive as your mother’s ring but it was something that had belonged to my mom and that made it special to me. Also I like hearts and this was a little heart earring that I had lost. When I did notice that it was missing I really didn’t anticipate ever seeing it again. First of all it is very little and it could have fallen off anywhere. I did say a short prayer asking if I might actually find it but to be honest I really didn’t think that I would ever see it again. I really wasn’t looking for it but I was sad that it was missing so when I did go into the bathroom at work and saw it lying on a shelf I could not even believe it at first. Then I thought if the earring is here then the back must be here also. Again I was very amazed that I looked down and there it was. When I think back to that day I still can hardly believe that someone had found it and put it on the shelf. Every time I look at it I am again amazed that I once again have it. To me finding it was a miracle it really was a needle in a haystack. 🙂

  4. I was looking in nooks and crannies, right along with you! But that word, pianissimo? Perfectly chosen and used brilliantly here to set the tone. I think there is a decelerando as well. 🙂

  5. Thanks, Cheryl! I am just a lover of music…don’t really know much about the technical terms etc. But I suddenly thought — there is a musical term that describes soft or peaceful like this! When I looked it up, there was this gem. (Love how Google takes the search out of it!) I loved it because it did seem to express what I meant so perfectly… 🙂 I’m glad you thought so too! Hmm…decelerando… does that mean a slow deceleration of panic? 🙂

  6. Being Woven says:

    I hear the piano playing in my mind and can feel the rapid beat of the fear and the panic…then the piano plays gently and peacefully. He is with me and I know that my panic does not allow Him to work in the circumstances because I cannot hear Him nor wait for Him. Thank you for this rapid paced to peaceful piece. A great reminder of our God.

  7. Oh Pam – I have so been where you were so often. I always love how you craft and weave a story, drawing me in from the very beginning to the very end. Longing for more and hanging on to every word. God too speaks to me in pictures and in school, I often remembered things with my photographic memory. hahaha – it is so funny how He created us and how He uses who we are to communicate with us. I haven’t had any moments like this, this week, but about 3 weeks ago, I misplaced a sizeable donation check to my ministry. I came in the mail on a Friday, I thought I had set it in a safe place for the weekend, but come Monday, when it was time to make the deposit – it was not there. I panicked searched high and low, and still came up empty handed… It wasn’t until the next day, when I really did calm down enough to hear God whisper to my heart and show me where to go – the recycle bin — ugh – oh no, the recycling had gone out the night before, but miracle of miracles it was too full for this particular box to be empty and there was the check still in its envelope, in a place it shouldn’t have been, safe and now found only becasue of God!

    • Oh, I love how God took care of that for you, keeping the check safe till you could find it! And leading you by His Spirit…. Thanks for sharing that, Debbie. Your words about my posts touches me so much. You express how I hope it speaks to readers here! 🙂

  8. Kristi Woods says:

    He’s such a faithful God. And to find the ring at your feet ~ I love it! It’s always a joy to visit your story-telling. Popping in today via #testimonyTuesday.

  9. A riveting story wrapped around a testimony to the faithfulness of God! Thank you for sharing it!

  10. Lesley says:

    Great story, and I love the way you brought it to life. I’m glad you found the ring. It made me think of similar moments I have experienced- when I was studying music I was under a very tight deadline and I had to find a specific piece of music in a collection of over 100 volumes with no indication of which one it was in. I prayed and then “randomly” picked out a book and opened it to find the exact piece I was looking for! I love those moments when God shows that he cares even about the little details of our lives.

  11. Thank you for sharing this story with us. I found you through one of the link-ups. My Gramma used to say that when she lost something and she remembered to stop and pray about where to find it, often the Lord would bring the answer to mind.

    This post was especially interesting to me because my Sunday post was a re-run of one from a couple years ago “When God Says, ‘I Love You.'” I shared a couple stories of things that happened to friends of mine. 🙂
    (http://thecottonapron.blogspot.com/2016/09/when-god-says-i-love-you.html)

    • Thank you, Mary! He is always letting us know His Love in the everyday as well as the miraculous, isn’t He? 🙂 I pray His promise of Isaiah 53 and 1 Peter 2:24 over you in this season and every day as I do over myself and others – His light and life and healing are in you, over you, You are healed by His stripes! Blessings to you!

  12. Lois Flowers says:

    I LOVE stories like this, Pam. And isn’t cool how each time something like this happens, it builds faith for the next time? So glad you found that ring too! #LiveFreeThursday

    • I agree, Lois… it’s like that scene in War Room where the woman has a wall of remembrance showing all the times God has moved, and how it builds her up for next prayer. Each time we see Him move, let us remember those Ebenezer stones… like the woman with the issue of blood, who clung to faith in knowing what He would do for her. 🙂 Amazing faith. Thank you!

  13. Lori @ Frog's Lilypad says:

    My heart was pounding, Pam. I have my mother’s ring, she gave it to me several years ago because she didn’t want anyone to fight over it in the future. I only wear it for special occasions because I do fear something happening to it. I’m so glad you found the ring and the Lord listened to your prayers. Thank you for sharing with Thankful Thursdays.

    • These rings mean all the more because they were our mom’s don’t they? But I encourage you to wear it! Time goes so swiftly… I was watching ANtiques Roadshow last night and an appraiser said that to a woman with some jade that had great monetary value as well as sentimental… and I thought, it really is true. What good is it hidden away? Thank you, Lori!

  14. I am so glad you found your ring – and what an encouraging story about taking it to God. I have learned that the sooner I throw up my hands and say, “God, you know where it is. Please open my eyes to it” – then I find it so much more quickly! He knows!

  15. The intro of your post reminds me of our joy when we found my mother’s missing wedding band last year. Thanks for sharing at the #LMMLinkup.

  16. Carol L Cook says:

    Thanks for sharing with SYC.

  17. Pam, I’ve had a similar incident occur, and I am always in awe of how God cares for the smallest things which are often so huge to us! So well written once again:)

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